tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post2664106251860941786..comments2023-10-28T06:16:41.152-05:00Comments on Hip Suburban White Guy: Legends of the StallXavier Onassishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01345787343828318445noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-71344390335955490432008-07-08T23:56:00.000-05:002008-07-08T23:56:00.000-05:00This post is why I read blogs, XO. Thank you.This post is why I read blogs, XO. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-61643825686543246462008-07-08T21:26:00.000-05:002008-07-08T21:26:00.000-05:00When I worked at the alarm company and we answered...When I worked at the alarm company and we answered calls at empty businesses at night, I would drop the bomb in the ladies bathroom and let it fester for a while, then button it all up. Women need to smell a healthy mans shit.<BR/><BR/>And, another name for the jailbreak is "The Symphony"Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14955078574626461009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-37289993798359686092008-07-08T08:34:00.000-05:002008-07-08T08:34:00.000-05:00what I find most offensive is the seeming absence ...what I find most offensive is the seeming absence of a courteousy flush or a cover up flush in this story. While I admire your ability to handle your bidness away from home base, Ive got to say the whole waiting each other out thing is a little disconcerting.Mark Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11832942533819391503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-81163593029577829372008-07-08T08:07:00.000-05:002008-07-08T08:07:00.000-05:00Dexter has the right idea. I once faced a related...Dexter has the right idea. I once faced a related issue at work, back when I was washing dishes in college. My co-dish-washer had a habit of sneaking into the crapper for a half hour rest, always at the height of dinner rush. Once, I grabbed a huge wad of paper towels, soaked them in water, and dunked them over the stall wall. Ran back to the dishwashing station, only to see my coworker standing there, doing his job. <BR/><BR/>Some poor customer got what he didn't deserve. Karma is out to get me, I know.Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13178761985520264906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-14070454519303097282008-07-08T08:05:00.000-05:002008-07-08T08:05:00.000-05:00If someone starts waiting on me, I just bomb them....If someone starts waiting on me, I just bomb them. Then I sit and wait and let them soak it in.<BR/><BR/>I am also strongly against guys who leave the bathroom if the stall they want is not open. Unless all of them are full or someone pulled a good ol' no flush, sit your ass down.Chimpotlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12506150226934602028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-11564569462939745422008-07-08T01:24:00.000-05:002008-07-08T01:24:00.000-05:00Nothing pisses me off more then when I'm doing my ...Nothing pisses me off more then when I'm doing my bombing run and some asshole thinks I need a wingman. <BR/><BR/>I've been considering water balloons as a deterrent.Dexter Colthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08029661219242000332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-76028290455370048042008-07-07T23:04:00.000-05:002008-07-07T23:04:00.000-05:00meesha - sounds like you are dealing with an: OUT...meesha - sounds like you are dealing with an: <BR/><BR/>OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER <BR/>Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom. <BR/><BR/>P.S. You can often tell where an OOTCP has marked his territory by leaving the sports section of the newpaper draped over the handicap access rail.<BR/><BR/>P.S.S. - Warning! The OOTCP handled the sports section POST touching his junk and PRE washing his hands. I'm just sayin'.Xavier Onassishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01345787343828318445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-14276087342694259782008-07-07T22:45:00.000-05:002008-07-07T22:45:00.000-05:00In the army sometimes I had to do it in the field ...In the army sometimes I had to do it in the field above some trench in the clear view of everyone else. Since then bathroom etiquette is one of the most important things to me. My digestive system is specifically trained to make it home without having to endure bathroom company. We have a guy who goes like a clock with the book, on schedule etc. I thought about posting his bathroom visitation log on the door.kcmeeshahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16640259113083899984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-68761962636319992572008-07-07T22:34:00.000-05:002008-07-07T22:34:00.000-05:00You were side carred, plain and simple. The side c...You were side carred, plain and simple. The side car is one of the rudest things a guy can do to another guy (no homo).<BR/><BR/>Anyways, my rule is to pick up and get out of town when side carred. I don't want to wait around for the other guy's jailbreak (note 1).<BR/><BR/>When you commence a fly by (note 2) and to avoid being a frequent flyer (note 2) I suggest you seek your own FORTRESS Of SOLITITUDE. (note 3).<BR/><BR/>Hope these hints help, heck, I'm even mortified when I issue the occasional ESCAPEE (note 4).<BR/><BR/>End Notes (no homo)<BR/>------------------------<BR/>(1) Jailbreak: When forcing a dump, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. <BR/><BR/><BR/>(2) The act of scouting out a bathroom before taking a dump. Walk in and check for other guys taking a dump. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. <BR/><BR/>(3) Fortress of solitude is a bathroom less traveled and most likely in the basement of your office building or in the basement of an adjacent office bukdling.<BR/><BR/>(4) Escapee: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a dump in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-21649972880534596292008-07-07T21:30:00.000-05:002008-07-07T21:30:00.000-05:00I love Man Code Bathroom stories. You boys are SOO...I love Man Code Bathroom stories. You boys are SOOO uptight about getting down to business with other guys it's kind of endearing. I laughed reading this...not sure which was funnier, your story or Travel's comment. 'Cause it gave you the willies, you red-blooded American male, you...didn't it? Thanks for your humor, as usual.MoxieMamaKChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08476898618715285808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-3813475195184291042008-07-07T21:28:00.000-05:002008-07-07T21:28:00.000-05:00travel - ROFLMAO. I have a very, very narrow stan...travel - ROFLMAO. I have a very, very narrow stance! If I could get both of my feet into the same shoe...that's how narrow my stance would be.<BR/><BR/>Not that there's anything wrong with that.Xavier Onassishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01345787343828318445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21353439.post-88930822935560325442008-07-07T21:24:00.000-05:002008-07-07T21:24:00.000-05:00Maybe he was waiting for you to .. kinda slide you...Maybe he was waiting for you to .. kinda slide your foot into his stall..you sexy devil.<BR/><BR/>hahaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com