Thursday, January 26, 2006

BUSH, THE NSA AND YOU

Americans are idiots. They watch too much TV...too much "Law and Order, Alphabet Soup" (BTW, gettin' me a 52" DLP HD Toshiba pretty soon!! Full Surround Sound with a sub-woofer and everything!! Yippee!! But I digress...).

Americans are the most gullible, hypocritical people on the planet!

Here is what the average American thinks is going on with the "Terrorist Survielance Program" (i.e. spying on Americans).

Osama picks up the phone and calls an operative in America. An alarm goes off at the NSA! Some patriotic, clean-cut, CSI-type agent sitting at a desk that looks like a station on the Starship Enterprise (or his local "Triple Action Weather" desk) says "We've got movement!", puts on a headset and listens to the call, carefully noting any threats to America and alerting the President, who immediately mobilizes forces to protect Americans.

BULL SHIT!! That never, ever happens! The NSA doesn't work that way!

Here is what REALLY happens.

The NSA monitors ALL electronic communications EVERYWHERE in the world, ALL THE TIME! Everything! Phone calls, emails, web pages, blogs, EVERYTHING! They intercept it with satellites and they have rooms full of supercomputers that analyze all of this traffic looking for key words and phrases. Like HIJACK or BOMB or NEW YORK.

So if you make a phone call and talk to someone (here or overseas...doesn't matter. England or Syria, doesn't matter) and you say "Hi Jack! Did you see the Today Show broadcasting from New York this morning? Katie Couric is da BOMB!" You just set off 3 alarms at the NSA.

They will then analyze your call, investigate both parties to see if there is anything "suspicious" in your background. They'll look at your credit report. They'll look at your employment history. They'll look at your criminal record. They'll look at your utility bills. They will look at your Pay Per View history from your cable company. They'll look at which porn sites you visited on your computer. They'll look at who you emailed and when and they will investigate THOSE people. They will look at any publically available information (and there is a LOT! More and more everyday! More than you ever DREAMED possible!) for "patterns". Patterns that THEY think might be suspicious or subversive. It's called "Data Mining".

All, without a warrant. No judge. No oversight. No "Reasonable Cause". Nothing.

This is what Bush means when he says he doesn't want to let "The Enemy" know what we are doing. He wants "The Enemy" to think we know who they are and we are WATCHING THEM. We don't. We truly don't.

What he's doing (and doesn't want "The Enemy" to know) is that it's a crap-shoot. He's watching everyone, all of the time, in the hopes of MAYBE stumbling across a possible "Evil-Doer". In the process, he is gathering A LOT of information on innocent Americans going about their normal, porn-filled, pot-smoking, whiskey-drinking, un-capitalistic ways.

This is the GOD'S HONEST TRUTH! If Osama himself picked up a pay phone in Pakistan, called someone in the US and said "Had a wonderful time in Rome. Looking forward to coming back home to Lathrop and milking the cows.", he could be setting up the next attack in code and the NSA would NEVER FIND IT.

This is EXACTLY why the FISA act of 1978 was put in place. And it is EXACTLY why this administration decided to just IGNORE that act.

But, what can you expect? A citizenry who believes that "Intelligent Design" is on an equal footing with Evoloution; a citizenry who believes that barely squeaking through a Supreme Court decision on an election constitutes a "mandate"; a citizenry who believes that anything a President does MUST be legal because, ya know, he's the President!

God help us! We have gone from being a Beacon Of Hope (most of the last 200 years) to being The Laughing Stock Of The World (the first Dubya administration) to being The Most Hated Nation On Earth (the second Dubya administration).

I don't know how the Right Wing sleeps at night. I truly don't.

8 comments:

emawkc said...

Wow. Very enlightening about the NSA. Very detailed about the processes at work. Makes me wonder how you came across such information. Very suspicious, no?

I can only conclude that you work/worked for the NSA... or Google.

Xavier Onassis said...

If I answered that I'd have to kill ya. LOL!

No, seriously, all of that information has been reported in the news. Problem is, right-wing voters follow the lead of their President and they don't read the news. Too much work. Makes their brains hurt. Easier just to believe whatever they are spoon-fed. That way they can devote more of their time to worrying about what other people are doing in their bedrooms.

Thanks for stopping by!

emawkc said...

Oh. Reported in the news. Well, that makes a lot of difference. I'm sure the people who report the news would never mislead their loyal viewers/readers. The people who report the news would never generate fake documents or take a boat into three inches of water to make a compelling story. Thank god we can trus the people who report the news.
[end sarcasm]
("Good God! The reading on this Sarcasmotron 6000 is off the scale!")

Xavier Onassis said...

ROFLMAO!

Response 1: You might not always be able to trust the traditional news outlets, but now it's been posted in a blog on the INTERNET!! So you KNOW it HAS to be true! The Internet Police don't let people post stuff if it's not true.

Response 2: Go back and read the header on my blog. I think it says something about me being a cranky old white guy spewing often ill-informed opinions.

Response 3: You need to upgrade to the Sarcasmatron 6500. I did. It has an LCD screen, a USB port and everything. Plus, it's shiny.

Stop back by anytime. I can use the traffic. Helps with the illusion that I'm not just talking to myself here.

Anonymous said...

Republicans are nothing but a bunch of yellow bellyed cowards. Oh we are so afraid of the terrorists. Lets give up our bill of rights, because we are nothing but scared little pussy girls.

ladyrose said...

Dear Ananymous....what did you say your name was? Oh, yeah, you didn't.....hmmmmm....scared??

Xavier Onassis said...

Of course he's scared. Everyone is scared.

Our basic rights are being diluted.

Our privacy is being violated.

Our Constitution is being raped.

But he's still a pussy for being "anonymous".

PUSSY! Ahahaha!! LOL!

Noble Rot said...

Thanks or the FB post and the trip down amnesia lane.

And yes, it turns out that ALMOST everything you said in this post is/was true. The one thing you missed is to put all of the attribution on Bush, The Right Wing and The Republicans.

As we've seen proven over the last 6 years of so, the name on the political party's letterhead doesn't really matter. Bush, Obama, both are equally culpable in turning the USA into a police state and allowing the terrorists to win.