Friday, February 17, 2006

THE HIGHWAY AIN’T THE PROBLEM


I lived in Richmond for 7 years before the Demolition Derby team next door finally drove me out of White Trash Heaven. But while I was there, I had to commute into KC along Hwy 210 every day.

There is nothing inherently dangerous about the stretch between Orrick and Missouri City. In fact, it’s a whole lot safer now than it used to be. When I first moved to Richmond, that stretch of road was still a lot like Calista Flockheart…dangerously narrow with no shoulders.

What makes that stretch dangerous ain’t the road…it’s the way those redneck idiots drive on it that’s the problem. I have seen more stupid shit on that highway than I can begin to describe.

Now, keep in mind, I can be a bit aggressive myself. There are really only 2 types of drivers on the road; IDIOTS (anyone driving faster than me) and ASSHOLES (anyone driving slower than me). And the only thing I hate worse than tailgaters are those jackass’s that won’t speed up no matter how close you follow them. Know what I mean?

But I’m tellin’ ya, these chuckleheads on 210 are just unbelievable. Nobody drives under 70-75. They pass on hills and around curves where it is absolutely impossible to know what’s coming. Sometimes, they know what’s coming and just don’t care. I had a woman passing me on a straight stretch of road where the oncoming traffic was clearly visible. I swear to God, if I hadn’t put on my brakes and pulled to the shoulder so that crazy bitch could get back in her lane, she’d have hit that other car head-on. I saved at least 2 lives that day.

I also have a good idea what causes this reckless behavior. One word. NASCAR.

I think that these toothless bastards sit around watchin’ them NASCAR races on the Tee Vee and think “Shit. I can do that.” Well, I got news for ya Sparky, you really can’t. One of the many differences between Rusty Wallace and you, Bubba Joe Dipshit, is that Rusty ain’t smokin’ a cigarette with a can of MGD between his legs listening to some hillbilly goat-roper music on his radio while his fat-ass wife is yelling at him from the passenger seat!

So, given the people who use that road, I really don’t think that “rumble strips” are going to solve the problem.

3 comments:

Tony said...

You're right. Stupid people are responsible for all traffic accidents. Unfortunately, I have to include myself in that lot sometimes and I don't even like watching the left turns in NASCAR.

Jane said...

Oh the bad drivers that are out there! I think it's probably worse here in New York, though. Here you have a bunch of rich kids from Long Island who model there cars after Pimp My Ride and drive like they're invincible. Then add in all the idiots coming in from New Jersey who don't know how to drive outside of a cul-de-sac. Very dangerous situation!

Xavier Onassis said...

I know what you mean about New York. I lived in Jersey for three and a half years (seems longer). I refused to take my car into the city. I always took the train and then used cabs or subways. No way I was exposing my car to New York streets.

Thanks for stopping by!