Coffee Cuts Cirrhosis Risk

GOD this is good news!!

Studies have already shown that consumption of alcohol can reduce the risk of heart disease.

Now they've found that drinking coffee can reduce the risk of cirrhosis by up to 80%!!

All I need now are two more studies!

hypothesis 1: Long periods of inactivity and lethargy give the body the strength, rest and time it needs to heal itself from the effects of smoking.

hypothesis 2: Spanking the monkey while looking at porn on the internet is actually an "aerobic" activity that can raise your metabolism and heart rate, causing you to lose weight. The more, the better.

Prove those two theories for me and I can live to be 180!!!

GO SCIENCE! GO SCIENCE! GO SCIENCE!