Monday, October 23, 2006

Update To The Update




In the immortal words of Winston Wolfe, "Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."

There's another turd lurking in the punchbowl.

Just about everytime I've been to the Doctor's office, they've mentioned that my blood pressure was "a little high". But they didn't make a big deal out of it because everytime I was there it was because I was in pain, or sick or something was wrong. All of which can elevate your blood pressure.

When I had my blood pressure taken at the Wellness Fair, it read high and she asked me if I normally ran high. I said I don't know. She took it again. It was still high (I forget what it was. The numbers mean nothing to me and I didn't write it down). She told me I should get it checked by my doctor.

When I mentioned this in my email to my doctor (that's right...I can actually email my doctor and he responds! Fucker even has wifi in his office and brings a laptop into the examining room along with his dad's old leather exam bag. He's a nerd, but I like him), he asked me to start taking my blood pressure whenever I was in Walmart or Hy-Vee and recording the measurements so we could discuss during my next visit.

My first thought was "Oh fuck. That's what OLD PEOPLE do."

My second thought was, I don't need to monitor my blood pressure. I just need to send my doc a link to my blog and record just one morning's worth of audio on my 30 minute drive into work. He'll have me on state-of-the-art meds in a flash.

I may just spend $80 or so and get a nice high-tech home monitor that connects to my PC with a USB port and prints graphs and shit just so I can salvage some kinda geeky-cool out of this without totally surrendering to mall-walking!!

Anyway, I just happened to be at Osco today and remembered that I was supposed to start doing that. So I did. 157 over 95. That's like Stage 1 Hypertension Country.

That can't be good.

So in anticipation of being forced to modify my diet to lower salt, eat more veggies, yadda, yadda, yadda...

Tonight I'm making chili. Red meat. Beans. Cheese (4 kinds). Sour Cream. CORN BREAD! BUTTER! HONEY!! BOURBON!!!!

Come on over. There's plenty!

9 comments:

Dan said...

Dude - hbp is something you have to take seriously, but this old dude has been taking medication for it for years. Oddly enough, when I exercise and lose weight, it goes down. When I sit on my ass and gain weight, it goes up.

Spyder said...

Well at least I'm good on that count. The hospital took my blood pressure after my Peugeot was totaled (me in it) years ago. It was normal. You would think that it would be up then. I had just done a donut on an icy bridge & was hit 3 times. The dealership said that if I had been in the Subaru station wagon that I had traded in I would be dead. Too bad they don't import them anymore.

The hubby has been on meds for years for hbp. Don't think it's my fault.

Xavier Onassis said...

Well, maybe I can hit the trifecta.

I really, REALLY need to lose 15-20 lbs. I was happy at 195.

Not at all happy at 220-225.

Losing weight, exercising, lowering blood pressure, looking good, it all sounds wonderful.

Are you SURE there's no way to do that while sipping bourbon, eating steak, baked potatos and crescent rolls and watching cable on my HDTV in Surround Sound?

I would gladly divert some stem cell research into "steak-eatin-whiskey-sippin-crescent-roll-eatin-cable-watchin'" research.

Find a way for me to make absolutely no changes to my life style and still lose weight, get really buff and have women half my age climbing all over me and you've got my vote.

Spyder said...

More sex! Great exercise.....

been there said...

Did you know that "some" blood pressure drugs actually improve erections? There's always a silver lining man

Dan said...

Yeah, I've noticed that since I started taking blood pressure medication, my johnson is about ten inches longer, and I can make a sinkhole cum. But I've been told I'm special . . .

Spyder said...

Oh Dan, that's way more info than my mind can handle. The mental pictures... Tell me that's not what is on your sweater, please!!!!

Rusty said...

It looks like mine is up as well. I have to go back to the doctor Friday. In the meantime I need to kill off the cans of chili in the pantry!

Xavier Onassis said...

10mg Lisinopril.

I have a 1 year prescription.

$20 bucks a month.

Gee. That's encouraging.