Wednesday, December 06, 2006


OK, look at this cluster map. Look at Australia.

Oh shit. I forgot. This is 2006.

Australia is a large land mass (They are called 'continents'. They are the mostly tan and green stuff in the mostly blue stuff).

Look at the mostly tan stuff, in the middle of the mostly blue stuff, in the lower right hand corner of the screen. See where the red dot is? The one in the middle?

That's someone from Australia who visited my blog. Let's zoom in.

Alice Springs. Little town in the middle of a whole lot of walkabout.

Alice Springs, Australia is about as far from anywhere as anywhere can be. How the fuck does sombody that far in the outback stumble across my lame-ass blog?

Guess I should just thank Al Gore for inventing the Internets and The Google.

Seriously. Most people who actually know me don't read this shit. My girlfriend hardley ever visits my blog. How do people from Australia, India, South America, Africa, Europe, the middle east and Russia find me and read me?

I mean, I know how they find me. It just blows me away that they actually do.

I'm not that interesting! I'm mostly full of shit!

I'm amazed that I get any more visits than me, checking to see if I have any visits.

It just don't make no sense.


Anonymous said...

It was me. I was on an undercover mission.

emawkc said...

I think your maps are out of date. Australia moved a couple of years ago to the Atlantic Ocean after a night of binge drinking.

Iwanski said...

Australians are known for their cunning and blog-searching skills.

Joshua Xalpharis said...

It's kind of amazing, really.

I'd expect to see a reader from Lake of Placidity before Alice Springs, Australia.

Then again, Australia might as well be on the moon.

Joshua Xalpharis said...

I must be goosed on Demerol and Root Beer, because I meant the Lake of Tranquility.

If there's another trip to the moon, I'll sign up to be the first assmonaut to go. Hell, nothing like getting lost on a lunar surface with a limited oxygen supply.

I accept the Todd award of the night.

Xavier Onassis said...

"Houston, Placidity Base here. The Goose has landed."

"That's one small step for a Todd. One giant leap for toddkind."

Nightmare said...

I love looking at the map and seeing all of the people from around the globe looking for my bullshit, It cracks me up!

Grimm said...

Bet it was those damn Wiggles. They are freaking everywhere.

First time here, came over from Xalpharis so blame him.

Great post.

Echele said...

That's fucking scary!

Carol said...

Australia? That's nuthin. I've had people reading from Ghana and Nigeria. Do they even have computers in Ghana? I'm guessing they're scammers who want me to front them some moolah for one of their crummy "sweepstakes"...At least you're relatively safe with someone from Alice Springs.

BTW - I've been reading your blog for about six months and I think you're pretty readable. I enjoy your mumbling.