This had me giggling like a school girl all day long. I just love this story.
For those of you who haven't been following this story, the good folks up in Minnesota saw fit to elect the very first Muslim to Congress. Keith Ellison will be sworn in on Thursday along with the rest of the freshman class in the House of Representatives.
What caused a bit of a stink was when he announced that for his swearing in ceremony, he would be using the Koran instead of the Bible.
WELL, that got Virginia's Republican Representative Virgil Goode's panties ALL in a twist!
"I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way. The Muslim Representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran. We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country. I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped.
The Ten Commandments and "In God We Trust" are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Koran. My response was clear, "As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives, The Koran is not going to be on the wall of my office." Thank you again for your email and thoughts."
OK, first of all Ellison was born here, he's an American citizen who converted to Islam, so immigration don't really enter into it, does it Sparky?
Second of all, the whole swearing on the Bible thing is a crock of shit anyway. The actual, binding, legal swearing in ceremony takes place as a group...they all hold their right hands up and take their oaths of office, but their left hand could be stroking their wankers; there is no book involved at all.
After their official, constitutionally called for, legal swearing in, they can choose to have a photo op showing them being sworn in individually by the Speaker of the House with their hand on a Bible. Or their favorite compilation of Sherlock Holmes stories. Or a dog-eared copy of the Whole Earth Catalog. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER BECAUSE IT MEANS NOTHING! It's just a photo op for the folks back home.
So what does Rep. Ellison do to diffuse this tense situation? Just the most brilliant political move I've seen in 50 years. He makes a special request of the Library of Congress's rare books and special collections division and arranges to be sworn in using...get this...a copy of the Koran once owned by Thomas Jefferson. That's right, the copy of the Koran that once sat on the bookshelves in Monticello.
Ellison spokesman Rick Jauert said the new congressman "wants this to be a special day, and using Thomas Jefferson's Quran makes it even more special."
"Jefferson's Quran dates religious tolerance to the founders of our country," he added.
I understand that when asked how he felt about having a Muslim congressman sworn in using a copy of the Koran once owned and read by Virginia's greatest statesman, Thomas Fucking Jeffereson, Virginia Rep. Virgil Goode had no comment.
How ya like me now, bitch!