Sunday, May 20, 2007

Cliff Notes Post

Good weekend:

Helped the GF spend $6000.00 on new dining room and bedroom furniture. NFM.

Mowed lawn, planted 6 tomatos, 1 watermelon, 1 cucumber.

Bought much meat and sundry items. Saved $23.75 with my Price Chopper card.

Stocked freezer.

Did laundry.

Cleaned kitchen.

Purged fridge and pantry of expired and questionable items.

Sprayed for little bitty spring-time ants.

Ironed slacks for next week.

Shaved head.

Changed bed linen.

Made blog post.

Fuck, I'm exhausted.


Spyder said...

It's amazing how spending $$$ is hard work. It being someone else's $$$ helps though.

Red7Eric said...

Aren't you cozy and domestic???

(ducking ...)

BTW - I watched Judgment at Nuremburg upon your recommendation this weekend, and yes: very prescient.

(I'm all about the three-dollar words this week.)

crse said...

what is NFM? Im so freaking clueless. I love it when men have to commit to shaving their heads and faces. It gives you an understanding of the whole leg shaving process!

satyavati said...

Holy shit..let's see here...
-hot looking
-can use 'entropy' in a sentence correctly
-loves Tolkien
-uses discount cards at grocery stores

...and IRONS...

You're damn near the top of The Perfect Guy list.

Xavier Onassis said...

spyder - the GF was REALLY exhausted. She said she was sore all over and felt like she'd had a workout. She's never had a complete, matching bedroom set before. It took hours, but it was worth it. Broyhill, dovetailed joints, quality stuff. She done good.

eric - LOL! Since I met the GF 3 years ago and gave up my slutty little man-whoring ways, why yes, I am quite cozy and domestic. BTW, I think you are the first person to use the word "presient" on my blog. Thanks man. Really classes the place up, I appreciate it. In return, I will toss out my personal favorite three-dollar word; specificity. I just love that word. As in "Upon careful reflection I've reached the tentative conclusion that your kvetching lacks any specificity."

crse - NFM: Nebraska Furniture Mart. Do you have a Cabellas or a Bass Pro Shop anywhere near you? Picture one of those filled with furniture. Here's something I found interesting. NFM is owned by Warren Buffet, the 2nd richest man in the world. He also just happens to be best friends with Bill Gates. When the GF picked out the furniture she wanted to buy, the salesperson came over with a pen and a pad of paper, wrote down all of the sku codes, took the paper over and manually typed them into the sales terminal. I would think that Warren Fucking Buffet could afford to have his Best Buddy Bill Goddamn Gates send some guys from Microsoft over to set his folks up with some hand-held scanners and USB ports and automate that archaic fucking process. Unbelievable. Last time I went to the NFM website they also didn't have any prices listed and you couldn't order anything on line. I wonder if they even have fax machines there?

satyavati - You overlooked (or may not have known) that I also cook (in 3 years, I may have eaten the GFs cooking 3 or 4 times...I generally do the food fixin' because I enjoy it so much), apparently I have "magic hands" (the GF says she doesn't care if other 'parts' quit working at some point, as long as my hands keep working, she's happy!), and, I send flowers often, sometimes just because "it's Tuesday". Does this additional information affect my standing on the list in any way?

travelingal said...

Your housekeeping skills really sound quite impeccable. Your girlfriend should continue to use your help...guy help in the heavy lifting category is really necessary. And, you iron. That's really quite impressive, but unlike Sat, to me it just means you can use an iron..hopefully you can also use a chainsaw.

I shall, however, not forget the beef stew. Now, that gets points.

But, all in all, looks like you do a good job of taking care of yourself.

Don't ya just give a shit what I think? lol me either

Xavier Onassis said...

travel - I can use an iron, but I don't think she can. Whenever she see's an ironing board, she gets a puzzled look on her face and says "What the heck is that? A surfboard with a kickstand?

Chainsaw? Um, no. Those fuckers are dangerous! Next time I have downed tree, I'm calling spyder!

satyavati said...

Well hey, I didn't know you cook too.

I think the ironing thing is so impressive because I love to iron. I really do, I know that might be weird but that oughtn't surprise you.

And don't be going on and on about magic hands! Don't you already have enough desirable qualities? Do you want to attract freakish internet stalkers and stuff? Lord, there's only so much a girl can take.

Does that answer your question about your standing on the list?

Spyder said...

Good for GF! I'm sure she is really happy, even if she is tired.

Can't remember last time I ironed.
Are you just trying to impress us women with how well trained you are?

I chain sawed for over 4 hours Sunday. Back, arms, hips & shoulders all hurt. Have electric chain saw will travel! Glad to help out if the need arises.

Xavier Onassis said...

satyavati and spyder - I didn't get married for the first time until I was 33. The same age that Jesus was crucified. Coincidence? I don't think so! But I digress.

The point is, I had long since figured out how to cook, clean, iron, etc. for myself by that time.

Unlike most men, I didn't undergo a lobotomy on my wedding night and forget how to do that stuff.

On the contrary.

I had actually become a bit finicky about things like pleats and creases and really didn't trust anyone else (especially someone who didn't want to be doing it in the first place) to do it to my exacting standards.

These days I pay professionals to do my shirts (saves me hours and hours on Sundays) and I still do my own slacks.

I'd rather be busy cooking in the kitchen than waiting on or watching someone else do it.

I'm almost 52 years old and I have only spent 13 of those years being married. I've never been one to rely upon a woman to meet my basic, day-to-day needs. I'm too old to need a mommy and to self sufficient to need a maid or a nanny.

I need the woman in my life to be a WOMAN! My equal (or challenging superior) in all aspects. And thus I have been blessed for these past 3 years.

Spyder said...

XO- You are a smart man to realize that you are blessed! Which makes GF blessed.

Xavier Onassis said...

She's my soulmate.