Thursday, May 31, 2007

Lohan Addicted To OxyContin, Father Claims

OK, I apologize up front for even bothering to mention this tedious crap. I won't even pollute your vision with poached photos or tempt you with links. Much like your first time having sex, I swear it will be over soon and you won't feel TOO dirty. I'll call you tomorrow. I promise.

"Lindsay Lohan's estranged father says she suffers from multiple addictions, including alcohol and the painkiller OxyContin, the Web site E! Online reported Wednesday...

...Michael Lohan was released from a New York state prison in March after serving almost two years for driving while intoxicated and other charges

It's like I've always said, "Follow an ugly kid home and who will you see opening the door? Ugly parents!!"

Okay, so daddy wasn't able to monitor and correct his daughter's behavior because he was in jail for the exact same behavior. Fine. The nut doesn't fall far from the nut tree.

But where THE FUCK was MOMMY? How does an incredibly famous 20 year old have enough access to enough hooch and oxy to get addicted to both? Where was mama? Off spending her allowance from her daughter? Too afraid of getting her income interrupted to intervene in her daughters destructive behavior? Why aren't the police shutting down the clubs that served a minor? It's not like they don't have any fucking evidence! Every move she makes, every where she goes is photo-documented for posterity.

Close down and revoke the business license of every club she's ever been spotted in.

Throw her mom in jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and parental negligence.

Keep her dad in jail just because. Sounds like he's probably a dick.

If this was some 20 year old, repeat offending, bar hopping, alcoholic, meth-head from Raytown? No way she'd be getting this sort of special treatment.

The police in LA are very hesitant to go anywhere near a Lindsey Lohan or a Paris Hilton. Have to tread very carefully. Make sure you have all of your facts and a clear direction and support from your superiors before even suggest that you might be thinking about taking any action.

But let a latino or african-american on the street so much as reach for their wallet without permission and they will be have more holes in them than a screen door.

That's some bullshit. I think there is something in the Constitution about equal protection under the law. Either give everyone the same benefit of the doubt and consideration that you give to Paris, Lindsey and Brittney, or throw their skanky asses in jail and teach them the error of their ways.

I'm just sayin'. I hate this double-standard bullshit.


crse said...

Oh Paris Hilton, I hear they are prepping the jail like its some green room as to how she will be handled. Not like back in the day when no matter who you were on the outside, crazy prison bitch was crazy prison bitch on the inside...sigh

faithstwin said...

Lindsay Lohans Mom is reportedly also addicted to drugs.

Just saying.

If I can't get a court to hold my ex responsible for his actions, then I can't expect them to hold some prima donna actress/'entertainer'/hoochie responsible either.

It's all pathetic and I am ready to go live on the side of a mountain in the Alps now.

Spyder said...

I agree!

You don't have any "20 year old, repeat offending, bar hopping, alcoholic, meth-head" in Liberty? Or Raytown just came to mind? Just asking.

Joe said...

The whole lot of them need real prison, not county jail, though LA's jail isn't a cakewalk (so I've heard, having never been there) Then, they need a good old fahsioned jail beating like we've seen on Oz.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

Well put and well founded.

One standard should do just nicely, thank you very much.

An 11 year old Haitian girl disappears from Torrance and it makes the 11 pm news. An 11 year old white jewel goes missing from BumbleFuck and the Pope crafts a heartfelt plea to the captors.

Both are incredible, life crushing tragedies but some are just seemingly more equal than others.

Paris Hilton? Die in a fire please.

Lindsay Lohan? Don't. Not yet.

satyavati said...

Two things.

One, like I said over by Greg's yesterday, some animals are more equal than others.

But you know, and this is something I've never understood, is what's the whole fascination with Oxycontin.

You probably wouldn't believe this (cause I look so innocent) but I'm not totally naive about substances. In fact in the course of my life I have done every single thing I could think of to do with Oxycontin (except shoot it) to find what was the big hysterical deal everyone was having spontaneous orgasms over.

I never found it.

To me, Oxycontin is SO not worth the hype. I'm not saying you can't get hooked on it; I just think that people got themselves hooked on it not cause it was the greatest high ever but just because it was the stylish drug to do.

Kinda like when people get hooked on Lorcet. Or Darvocet, for Christmas sake.

It ain't even worth whatever you paid for it.

And as far as all these little Hollywood bitches go, I think they all need to be ignored. I mean, take away their fame. They all thrive on attention, that's all. It's more than ridiculous. And yes, mom and dad also need good old fashioned asswhuppins too.

satyavati said...

Oh, and another thing.

You wanted to know how an incredibly famous 20 year old gets her hands on enough stuff to get addicted to?

That's easy. I was a completely unknown 17 year old and managed it just fine.

Xavier Onassis said...

satyavati - I'm sure it's easier for a totally unknown 17 year old to score booze in a bar than it SHOULD BE for an incredibly famous person who everyone knows is only 20 because it's in the paper and on TV all the time.

"Oh wow! I see by this ID that you are so incredibly rich and famous that you've found a physicist who can alter the flow of time and fast-forward you to the age of 21. Sweet. Come on in."