Sunday, June 24, 2007

Yet Another Post About My Favorite Subject

Yeah, that would be ME.

Joe over at Joe's Big Blog tagged me for 8 Random Things About Me. And since this blogging thing is the closest I come to any sort of human interaction with anyone other than my girlfriend and coworkers, what the fuck. Why not?

Keep in mind the theme here is "Random Things". Not "Extraordinarily Introspective, Revealing, or Just Plain Funny Things".

1. I haven't owned any other vehicle than a Jeep for 15 years. It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand.

2. My face has only been completely clean-shaven once in the last 30 years. It was during my first marriage. I was informed that I have "prissy lips" and told to grow it back and never shave again. So I did and I haven't.

3. Just prior to deciding to start shaving my head about 14 years ago, I sported a ponytail. It was one of those "balding guy desparately clinging to some semblance of hipness" ponytails that were popular in the late eighties and early nineties. It was a "skullet". All skin up front, party in the back.

4. There is an embarassingly large photo of me, my younger sister and my two younger brothers on display at my father and step-mother's house. It was taken probably around 1974, 1975. I was about 19. I have shoulder length hair in some sort of "feathered-shag" cut that is frighteningly close to a full-scale mullet. I have long, bushy, Elvisy sideburns with no beard or moustache. "Prissy lips" (bitch) unobscured. I'm wearing a baby-shit brown polyester leisure suit with an overlapping shirt collar that you could land a C-5 Galaxy on. My daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis, goes into convulsive, hysterical laughter at the very mention or memory of that fucking picture. Someday, I will burn that picture.

5. I'm a very good cook.

6. I am incapable of learning "actual dances". I dance like a white guy. I just get up there and sort of move around in whatever way seems appropriate. And I don't really enjoy it very much. I do it to get laid. Women have tried to teach me "actual dances" like "The Two Step" or whatever. Can't do it. I can listen to the music and try to move with the beat, or I can concentrate on what my feet and hands are doing. I can't do both.

7. When I was a kid, one of my favorite TV shows was "Whirleybirds". It was a syndicated half-hour show about a couple of helicopter pilots who had adventures. It was in the same genre as "Sea Hunt" or "Sky King". Each episode started with the two of them going through their pre-flight check-list and lifting off. At the age of 8, I was convinced that I could climb into the cockpit of a Bell Ranger helicopter, start it, up, take it off and fly it.

8. I never developed a taste for macaroni and cheese. I always thought that it smelled like vomit when it was cooking. I also won't eat cottage cheese. To me, cottage cheese is what you pour down the drain when your milk goes REALLY BAD.

EDIT: Oh Yeah! I almost forgot. I guess I am supposed to "tag" some other folks. Bet you thought you escaped and got off easy, huh? No such luck.

I wasn't given any rules regarding the number of people I should tag. So I am tagging Spyder, Janet, Eric, crse, and Mayor Funkhouser.


Spyder said...

"skullet" LOL
What the Hell are "prissy lips"?

And thanks for the Tag. Now I have to think....It hurts....

Nightmare said...

FUNKY? you tagged the Funkster! that is awesome I hope he lays out some good stuff for us!

Red7Eric said...

Love the Skullet. That's hilarious. I love that fact that it's gone even more. Yeep.

For more potentially interesting things about me than you ever cared to know, check it out:

It's a lazy way out, but I ain't proud.

Xavier Onassis said...

spyder - "What the Hell are "prissy lips"?"

I have no fucking idea. But apparently I got some.

nightmare - I don't expect a response. After the political bukkake-blogspew he got over the Parks Board and hybrid car thing, I can't imagine that he is going to start responding to random blog-tags and memes using city computers while on taxpayer salary.

eric - Actually, I read that post when it was still a First Edition. It was heart felt and well done.

UPDATE: I noticed on crse's blog that she is currently trying to accomodate a friend who challenged her to reveal 86 things about herself. So I hereby withdraw my challenge for her to reveal a mere 8 things and let her off the hook.

Instead I transfer her 8 things to... ERIC! Just because he thought I would be so easily appeased with a re-run!

Try again.

crse said...

Thanks buddy. Its 64 things though. Im up to 48. He tagged me back 8 times. I mention this only because I tagged you for this one a few weeks back but apparently it took big bad joe to bring out the randomness that is xo. Im ok with that though. You had me at "skullet".

Xavier Onassis said...

crse - Oh shit! You did! I remember reading your post but for some reason I didn't recognize it as a tag. I'm sorry. You had first dibs!

How can I make it up to you?

Webmiztris said...

prissy lips? I don't know what that even means! it's better than having pussy lips on your face though. :)

Spyder said...

Webmiztris- I thought that too! LOL

Lunatic Biker said...

Do you still have the leisure suit? I had a dark brown one. Thank God there's no pictures of me wearing it.

Xavier Onassis said...

Webmiztris - I'm afraid I have to disagree. I'm actually rather fond of having pussy lips on my face and rarely turn down an opportunity to do so.

lunatic - oh HELL no. They say everything comes back in style eventually. I'm really hoping liesure suits were a one-hit-wonder.

crse said...

seriously xo, you really did have me at "skullet". All is right in the blogosphere.

Spyder said...

The hubby is still cracking up over your last comment to Webmiztris about the "prissy lips". I believe he is of the same opinion as you. The more often the better!

My Life On A Blog said...

Just wanted to say that you have an awesome blog!

Xavier Onassis said...

my life - Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it. Don't be a stranger.