GODDAMN that was fun!! This movie kicks ass and takes names!
If you liked the Die Hard movies, you will fucking love this one! If you didn't like the Die Hard movies, then you are a woman. Go wash your delicates out in the sink, ya big wussie. Go eat yer vegan lunch, or go birdwatching or whatever it is you candy-asses do. Go recycle something.
This was not some weak, worn out, "let's milk this cash cow one more time" feeble attempt. This movie RAWKS!! Some of the stunts in this movie are so fucking outrageous that even John McClane gives a bit of a chuckle and a "Holy Fuck!" Not in an out-of-character-campy kind of way, but in a "Holy Shit I can't believe that actually worked and I'm still alive!" kind of way.
Timothy Olyphant makes a great villian.
Maggie Q was (gulp) really good as "that little Asian bitch that likes to kick people".
I'd put John McClane up against a bunch of Transformers any day. Fucking toys! He'd turn them into scrap metal.
In fact, there is only one person in the world who might stand a chance against John McClane.
No, not Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer. Fucking pussies.
I'm talking about Jason Bourne.
As the trailer for "The Bourne Ultimatum" described him, "He's the toughest target you'll ever track. He's really good at staying alive. Trying to kill him and failing just pisses him off."
Now THAT would be a great movie. McClane vs. Bourne.
Some miscommunication somewhere results in John McClane recieving orders that Jason Bourne is a terrorist and has to be captured or killed.
The movie would be as long as the entire extended version DVDs of the whole Lord of the Rings saga. We're talking 13-14 hours at a minimum.
Because neither one of them can be killed or stopped or ever gives up. The only way you could end the movie would be to have the sun just randomly blow up for no reason and destroy the earth.
After the credits were done rolling, there would be one last shot of McClane and Bourne at each other's throats, floating in space trying to smash each other's skulls with the smoldering fragments of our planet with a superimposed teaser title that said "McClane vs. Bourne 2, July 4th, 2010"
I give this movie 5 Yipi Kay Yi Yay Muthafuckers.
You may ask yourself, how did I get here?
1 hour ago