Friday, August 03, 2007

More Fundie Christian Insanity

You know, I'm just sitting here thawing out a couple of boneless pork loins (no homo - copyright Tony's Kansas City), looking at the headlines and trying to decide what to blog about when I see this:

Arkansas couple welcome their 17th child

Holy Mother of Fuck!! 17 fucking curtain climbers?!? That's just insane. But it gets even nuttier.

"Among the "fun facts" listed on Discovery Health's Web page devoted to the Duggars: A baby has been born in every month except June; the family has gone through about 90,000 diapers, and Michelle Duggar has been pregnant for 126 months -- or 10.5 years -- of her life.

The children are home-schooled by Michelle Duggar, 40. The oldest is 19 and the youngest, before Jennifer, is almost 2 years old. The family includes two sets of twins."

I gotta be honest with ya, my first reaction was "Those bat-shit crazy fuckers have to be Mormons."

But ya know what? I was wrong. They are even stranger than Mormons. They are "Quiverfulls".

"Quiverfull is a movement among conservative evangelical Protestant Christian couples chiefly in the United States...Its distinguishing viewpoint is to eagerly receive children as blessings from God,[2][3][4][5] eschewing all forms of contraception, including natural family planning and sterilization.[6][7] Someone of this persuasion might call themselves a "quiver full", "full quiver", "quiverfull-minded", or simply "QF" Christian."

"The core motivation expressed by Quiverfull authors and adherents is a desire to be obedient to God's commands in the Bible. Among these commands, "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:22; 9:7), "behold, children are a gift of the Lord" (Psalm 127:3), and passages showing God acting to open and close the womb (Genesis 20:18, 29:31, 30:22; 1 Samuel 1:5-6; Isaiah 66:9) are interpreted as giving basis for their view. Quiverfull adherents typically maintain that their philosophy is first about an open and accepting attitude toward the possibility of birthing children. Contraception is rejected as inconsistent with this attitude and is thus avoided."

"Quiverfull authors and adherents advocate for and seek to model a return to Biblical Patriarchy. Families are typically arranged with the mother as a homemaker under the authority of her husband with the children under the authority of both. Parents seek to largely shelter their children from aspects of culture they as parents deem adversarial to their type of conservative Christianity.

Additionally, Quiverfull families are strongly inclined toward homeschooling and homesteading in a rural area."

Is there no limit to the amount of complete and total bullshit that people will be allowed to get shoved into their skulls? Of course, I guess the total lack of any brain matter to take up space leaves plenty of room for fairytales and nonsense.

The worst of it is, they aren't content just have their kids and raise 'em up as good, sequestered, God fearing lunatics. No, they want to outbreed the rest of us and send their kids into politics to shove their beliefs down our throughts like a big, shit-covered dick.

"Quiverfull authors Hess and Hess, along with Joyce, also connect the proliferation of conservative politics as a motivation behind Quiverfull. Hess and Hess state,

When at the height of the Reagan Revolution the conservative faction in Washington was enforced with squads of new conservative congressmen, legislators often found themselves handcuffed by lack of like-minded staff. There simply weren't enough conservatives trained to serve in Washington in the lower and middle capacities.[2]

Hess and Hess continue by envisioning that the offspring of Quiverfull families might enter national and local politics to bring conservative majorities, publicly-funded education to bring the teaching of creationism, and business to adjure companies to adhere to what adherents see as Christian sensibilities.[2][6]"

There's no question about it, my fellow, athiest (i.e. SANE) leaning Liberals (oops! Meant 'Progressives'! My bad!). We just have to spend more time fucking each other and spitting out right-minded babies!

Now, I'd never ask anyone else to do something I'm not willing to do myself.

So I'll be screening hot, Liberal, hot, Smart, hot, Athiest applicants who are willing to take one for the team in an open audition later this evening.

Right after I finish my pork chops and sweet potato.


John K said...

You seem to be quite ignorant of what can be the most valid criticism of the very frequent birth intervals among the "quiverfuls." It is apparent that they do not practice "ecological breastfeeding." This is God's own way of spacing babies. It is a form of nursing in which the mother fulfills her baby's needs for suckling and her full-time presence, and in which the baby's frequent suckling postpones the mother's return of fertility. Among mothers who do ecological breastfeeding, fertility returns, on the average, between 14 and 15 months postpartum. If we assume almost immediate pregnancy at that point, the birth intervals will be approximately 24 months. In the process, the mother has given her baby the best nutrition, and her own body has fully recovered.

For serious discussion and help with this, see the website in my signature below.

Regarding your personal problems, if you were validly married in the first place, you should seek reconciliation with your spouse. The words of Jesus about marriage are of the greatest importance: "What God has put together let no one take apart." You also need to clean up your tongue and the rest of your life.

J. Kippley

Xavier Onassis said...

john k - "Regarding your personal problems, if you were validly married in the first place, you should seek reconciliation with your spouse. The words of Jesus about marriage are of the greatest importance: "What God has put together let no one take apart." You also need to clean up your tongue and the rest of your life."

I'd sooner scoop both my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon and eat them for breakfast than ever see or speak to the woman again. But thanks for the suggestion.

As far as my "tongue" goes, fuck off, douche-nozzle.

Thanks for stopping by. Now go hawk your fundie book somewhere else.

SmedRock said...

w00t! Fundie talk gets me all lathered up. I need an oil dip.

You are right on with this one XO.

John - When you have kids so you can send them to infiltrate the political machine, then you sir have twisted religion and faith into a drive for power. Don't sugar coat it, just be honest. Lying by hiding religion is as blasphemous as denying it. So shut the hell up and go on John.

SmedRock said...

That would be BEHIND religion.

Lynn said...

You failed to mention my favorite part about this family:

"All of Jennifer's siblings also have names that start with J. They are: Joshua, 19; John David, 17; Janna, 17; Jill, 16; Jessa, 14; Jinger, 13; Joseph, 12; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 9; Jedidiah, 8; Jeremiah, 8; Jason 7; James 6; Justin, 4; Jackson, 3; Johannah, almost 2."

Seventeen kids with names beginning with the same letter... and they didn't get to "Jennifer" until 17? They chose "Jinger" and "Jessa" over Jennifer?

There are so many reasons why this is fucked up.