Sunday, September 16, 2007

This Pleases Me

Cities cracking down on saggy pants

And while you have their attention, yank their fucking hats into the proper configuration (the long part goes in the front, dipshit!).

Ask to see reciepts and paycheck stubs for any "bling" that looks like it costs any more than "fitty cents" and arrest them on site if they can't prove legal ownership.

If they have any jailhouse tatoos visible above their shirt collars or on their hands, then they have done time in the past, and will be doing time again soon. They have given up on any mainstream career path!

You want to live a "gangsta" lifestyle? Fine. Then you won't mind just turning around and heading your sorry ass back to jail where you belong. That is where "gangsta's" come from, and it is where they return to, if someone doesn't just "pop a cap in they ass" between jail terms.

My! What lofty aspirations and career goals!
Your family and friends must be SO PROUD!

Fucktard loser douche-nozzles. Eat shit and die. No one cares.

And I'm a bleeding heart Liberal! Just imagine how the Conservatives feel about you!


satyavati said...

I have a tattoo visible above a shirt collar.. it's behind my left ear.

Damn, and I thought nobody would ever discover my secret gangsta identity.

There's just no gettin anything by you, man.

Nightmare said...

Well I know for a fact that these people don't even register on the human scale for most conservatives.

Remember that scene in "Trading Places" Where Eddie bumps into Dan and Dan hands over his briefcase, thinking the "Evil" black man was robbing him? That is how most conservatives feel. Us and Them.

Poodles said...

For a white supremacist that Algier douche sure looks black to me.

emawkc said...

So you in favor of profiling. Great, I'll alert the Minutemen.

tec said...

Hand over your Bleeding Heart card, mister! Yes, gansta culture is ridiculous, but let's not start a national dress code, ok? Or set the precedent of having to prove ownership of everything of value every time a cop sees you.

Instead, how about we explain to these kids where sagging comes from - that in prison, you sag to show that you are someone's bitch. Maybe the knowledge that they are just providing easy access to their owners might dissuade them, eh?

Heather said...

I'm getting a feeling that you might have strong feelings on this subject. How does it really make you feel??

tina said...

I don't agree with the sagging clothes but some people thought the mini skirt was offensive too, way back when. Why not just start another trend away from the saggy pants? :)

Anonymous said...

I love my tattoos and I love being employable. That's why I keep my tattoos where they can be covered during the workday.

Xavier Onassis said...

Satyavati - almost all chick tats are cool. And no, that wasn't a misspelling.

emaw - the (black) official down in Louisiana who proposed one of these ordinances had a cute answer to that issue. I can't quote him exactly, but when asked how you would enforce such a law without profiling, he said "It's easy. Ask them to raise their hands. If their pants fall down, give them a ticket!"

tec - "...but let's not start a national dress code, ok?" Oh, I know these laws won't stand up in court. They'll get challenged and overthrown.

But, on The Planet Where I Live and wield Absolute Power in the manner of a benevolent, yet firm and unforgiving dicktater, we have no Constitution, no Supreme Court and no appeal process. There is only My Word, which is The Law.

On this planet, XOpia, we do indeed have a world wide dress code where saggies, bling, crooked hats, and all other manner of clothing deemed offensive to Me is banned. This of course includes all clothing for women. It is an Abomination before Me and will not be tolerated.

It's NICE on The Planet Where I Live.

Oh and as for the "..having to prove ownership of everything of value every time a cop sees you"; if I'm a cop and I see some ignorant acting gangsta wannabe wearing a bunch of gold and diamonds and wearing $300.00 sneakers in the middle of the day while everyone else is WORKING, that might make me think that he really IS a gangsta. That's not profiling...that's Probable Cause.

(Very nice to meet you tonight, btw. Wish it had been under better circumstances)

heather - I see my subtlety eludes you! LOL!

tina - "I don't agree with the sagging clothes but some people thought the mini skirt was offensive too, way back when". Point well taken. But here is the flaw in your well reasoned logic. Mini skirts were (and still are) worn my HOT LOOKING BABES (mostly). Whereas saggies are worn by little punk-ass-bitch-boys with too much attitude and too little self esteem to go flip burgers and earn an honest living. If HOT LOOKING BABES were wearing saggies, we wouldn't be having this discussion. I'd open up a "saggie boutique" and be making money selling them to HOT LOOKING BABES!