Monday, October 15, 2007

Because I just can't get to Hell fast enough...

"Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Just to put a big, bold exclamation point to my return to blogging, here is a link, (courtesy of Harry Nads) to

Here is a nice Index of what you can expect to find:

Ritual Human Sacrifice
Rape in the Bible
Murder in the Bible
Slavery in the Bible
Evil Bible Quotes
Retard of the Month
Jesus Lied
God is Impossible
Top Ten List
Biblical Contradictions
Synthetic Life
Definition of Atheism
Discussion Forum


Spyder said...

I love you anyway you heathen!

travelingal said...

You got nothing on Pope John Paul. Look at this pic.

travelingal said...

Damn link didn't work...Go to Drudge and look at the story on the Pope.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

I don't understand. I say the simplest little thing critical of the enterprise of Christianity on my blog and the nut jobs unleash their venom with the fury of a holy ass fountain.

You blast it right out there and no-one says a word. I think people are afraid of you. What's that like?

Joe said...

I've linked to this post, Xavier, you're goddamn kiliing me!

Harry Nads said...

Thanks for the props. That site is awesome. The discussion forums are great, too. There are some high intellectuals on there (much smarter and better word smiths than me.)

crse said...

I feel as my duty to Stinkbait that i should blast you with my venomous fury. But i got....nothin'.

thepaintman said...

here, let me help you.

There are 2 kinds of people in this world.

1. the sons/daughters of God

2. the sons/daughters of the devil.

You choose which one you want to be.

Xavier Onassis said...

paintman - you forgot the 3rd category...the sons/daughters of idiots.

Sometimes there isn't any choice, is there?