Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Stuff White People Like

If you haven't checked out this site yet, you need to. I first saw a link to it from Poodles over at Atheist Rants and then today there was a segment on Talk Of The Nation about it.

Get this...the blog has only been online for a month and they've already had 4,212,028 hits and they're getting several hundred comments per post.

Here is a good example:

#75 Threatening to Move to Canada

" Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.

For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”

Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly similar to the one they live in now.

Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.

Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”

They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.

But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.

Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.

Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere


JustCara said...

This reminds me of one of my favorite books from when I was a kid:

The History of White People in American by Martin Mull.

Spyder said...

If Canada wasn't so cold & the mosquitoes so big....

H-Train said...

Which is why I'm going to move to the Caribbean.

Nightmare said...

White people Suck.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

Trelvix and The Guidance Counselor Chronicles:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" he asked.

"Easy." I answered. "A sightless lesbian of color with a phD and a limp. That or a lottery winner."

"Do you have a fall-back plan?"

"Yeah. Be a white guy."

"Well either way you show great potential."

Faith said...

Now, see, that's just not true.

Back when Clinton was re-elected, I asked my dad if we could move to Iceland. (It's so pretty there, and hello? Bjork? I think so...)

We never did move there. Sadly.

I've never even thought about moving to Canada. Not ever. Maybe it's because the Twin and I were conceived in Jamaica.

Xavier Onassis said...

Jamaica, eh? Well, maybe you not even white, mon. Ever tink about dat?

Doc said...

Hmmmm...there's money to be made here.

redesign the site as a low level {aimed at folks who can't make it through junior colleges }program: an online "White People for Dummies".

Award certs worth 3 CEU hours; sell to corp and govt hr depts; overcharge, always a sure sign of confidence in your material [as well as a sign of successfully having cheated, er, done business with the fed govt in the past]...you simply can't lose.

these folks could be rich in a year...

emawkc said...

I love that site. It's not racist in the same way that Tony is not misogynistic.

frog pajamas said...

I miss you guys too. One day I'll get back into the swing of things. Maybe I'll stop by the blogger meet up tonight.

Hound Doggy said...

Would you Please....stop linking to entertaining blogs..I'm getting too much to read...I love that 100 years KC newpaper thing.