Sunday, March 16, 2008

This St. Patrick's Day, It's Whats For Dinner



Not really, but when I saw it I cracked up and thought of Eolai.

I actually gave up celebrating St. Patrick's Day many years ago when I started out the morning with some green eggs and green beer, was completely shitfaced stupid and useless by 4 that afternoon and ready for bed. I decided to step aside and leave St. Patricks Day to the young, stupid amateurs, to the seasoned die hards, and to the actual Irish.

St. Patrick's Day is no holiday for old men.

Stay safe and if you drink, DON'T FUCKING DRIVE!! I'm serious as cancer. Number one, I ain't got that many readers and can't afford to have any die off. Number two, if you get a DUI, by the time the legal system is finished giving you a frenzied, enthusiastic and completely lubeless ass-fucking with no reach-around, you won't be able to afford a connection to the internets and I will still lose readers.

So all y'all have fun now, hear?

5 comments:

Fiery said...

shit XO I just about sprayed pop all over my poor laptop on that last bit.

if you get a DUI, by the time the legal system is finished giving you a frenzied, enthusiastic and completely lubeless ass-fucking with no reach-around, you won't be able to afford a connection to the internets and I will still lose readers.

My brother got one of those and his arse is still sore.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

I guess the only thing I would add is that the reach-around is not a theoretical impossibility.

I would echo your sentiment however - for what it's worth.

I know of more than a couple of people who will never again be able to soak in the awesomeness that is the XO because of their untimely, drunk-driver-induced deaths.

If they have taxis where you live - use them. If they don't, move to a place where they do.

This should be hair-dryer-in-the-hot-tub obvious by now.

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Joe said...

And, if you have a commercial drivers licence and you get popped for a DUI you lose your CDL for a year. That will put a damper on your cash flow.

Well Hell Michelle said...

My work pays for cabs if we're too drunk to drive, but I hung out at bars within walking distance of my house.

I wonder how pissed a cabbie would have been if I called him and had him drive me 6 blocks home :)