Monday, April 28, 2008

This Ain't Rocket Science

When I was a child, there were certain things that were drilled into me by every adult authority figure. Parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, preachers, neighbors...everybody.

First and foremost was crossing the street safely. There were certain things that you just always did.

1. Go to the corner and use the designated pedestrian crosswalk.

2. Wait until you have the green light and the cross-traffic has come to a complete stop.

3. Even after you have the green light and the traffic has stopped, look both ways before stepping out into the street.

4. Move quickly and cross the street in as little time possible.

That is the way I was raised, and that is the way I raised my daughter.

But every single day I see people in the downtown Kansas City loop just walking out into the middle of the street like they were strolling through the fucking park.

The worst spot is around the bus plaza at 10th & Main.

View Larger Map

It's a Perfect Storm. A Bus Plaza that serves virtually every bus route in the city (you can even catch a Megabus to Chicago there) right across the street from a Korean bodega that would sooner call security and have you arrested before they would make change for a dollar.

I see people just casually ambling across the street like they were strolling through Loose Park, completely oblivious to any other traffic. Almost daring the insured driver to hit them, the uninsured, bus-riding, unemployed, shelter-folk so that they can live like a king in a hospital...laying in a soft bed with fluffy pillows, meals brought in by "room service", intravenous prescription drugs, cable television with a remote, a bathroom that actually has a toilet and a shower instead of some shrubbery and a fountain.

But what really bugs the fucking shit out of me is seeing mothers, with children holding their hands, crossing the street that way. Walk right out in front of a Ford F-350 speeding down Main at 50mph (redneck idiot!), no sense of urgency whatsoever, just strolling across the street like it was their front yard and they were walking over to the swingset. Ignorant fucking bitches!

"Come here honey. I'm going to teach you how to get mowed down in the middle of the street by 'priveledged white-folk' so's we can hold a mournful candle-light vigil led by some jobless 'community activist' who will whip up a frenzy of righteous indignation in front of the Tee Vee cameras in the hopes that we can make people feel guilty enough to line our pockets with a windfall of cash money! We'll miss you when you're gone, little baby!."

Use the crosswalks!

Wait till the light turns green!

Look both ways!

Get across the fucking street as fast as you can!

This ain't rocket science.

And you rednecks in the F-350's...slow the fuck down, Bubba!

Them ain't deer...they's pedestrians.

I hate people.


meesha.v said...

if your spin your map around,you'd see a few people crossing in various places.

Nightmare said...

I say Fuck'em.

Get them the fuck out of the gene pool. Hopefully the kids will bounce and only the stupid parent will die horribly so maybe the kids will go to a nice home and learn how to cure cancer....if is time to add a little bleach to the pool.

Midtown Miscreant said...

A deer will fuck your car up way more than a human. So I'm torn on this one. Try broadway and Valentine near the Plasma center, they not only walk out in traffic, they slow down when they see your car bearing down on them.

Joe said...

I remember this, though it happened 25 years ago. My toddler son darted out into the street and I caught him, yanked him up by one arm, swatted his diapered butt more than once, yelled at him, then hugged him and told him not to run into the street.
Its not that hard.

And, I too hate people.