Friday, June 06, 2008

Melon Madness Mutation

I read this story a while back and thought, well, that's interesting and a little wacky.

Apparently they grow square watermelons in Japan and charge premium prices for them. A regular watermelon can sell for anywhere from $15 to $25 in Japan. A square one can go for over $80.

I didn't think much of it at the time. I figured if someone wants to go to all the trouble to force a growing watermelon into a square shape, let 'em charge ridiculous prices. What the hell do I care?

But then I read this story.

Japanese melon sells for more than $6,000

That's just stupid.

I blame us.

We nuked 'em a couple of times back in '45. I think the radiation seriously fucked them up.

I mean, it's 2008 and they still eat their food out of wooden bowls using a couple of sticks.

That can't be right. Have you ever tried to eat rice with sticks? Why wouldn't you just use a fucking spoon?

It makes no goddamn sense.

Has to be the radiation.


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SmedRock said...

Asshat spammers. I am not a spammer.
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Square melons -- the dehumanization of women. A woman with a sqaure melon is a sad thing indeed.

meesha.v said...

I read a blog written by a guy living in Japan -fruits are super expensive there, for example strawberries are individually wrapped and sold by count. I am sure American farmers are exploring how to export huge American melons to supplement their tiny melons.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

You know, I'm a fan of tiny melons...

Anonymous said...

It could be the radiation....or the fact that the entire island is rock. But probably the radiation....square watermelons. It's just not normal.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

Stop and think a second. In Japan space is at a premium we can't even imagine. They just found a homeless woman who had been living in a guy's closet for a YEAR before she was discovered. People pay rent for entire apartments smaller than my pantry.

Square melons stack and pack and snack (ooh, I just couldn't stop the rhyme) in a ton less space than clumsy unstable ovoid melons. This means you can put more in less and not have to worry about them rolling all over the place.

Personally I wouldn't eat a square melon because it's just too bizarrely artificial. But I can see the thought process here.

This argument doesn't hold up in the footbinding discussion, but that was the Chinese anyway.


jt said...

First it was a LOL at the story, now it's a ROFL at the comments!