Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Tonight's Featured Entree at Casa Onassis

Pan-seared, Wild Salmon fillet marinated in Robusto Italian dressing

Baked Stuffed Clam on the half shell, broiled to a finish with drizzled olive oil

Saffron seasoned, long grain rice

Savory, buttered bread sticks

Yes. I cook.


meesha.v said...

are you a "BAM"- or "YAMMO"-cook

Stinkbait Boucher said...

Ok - this comment will suck but that's never stopped me before.

I request that you start an ancillary blog or community site (http://www.ning.com) to share your recipes.

Hip Suburban White Food.

Hell, I'd go there.

Heather said...

Wait...is...is that...is that FIESTAWARE???

Your coolness ranking goes up if it is...

Fiery said...

this type of thing should be put on your online profile.

Banky the hack said...

Yeah but can you make peanut butter and jelly . ..

And what the hell ever happened to all those voicemails people have been leaving you? Get off the stick yo . ..

Nuke said...

Wow I do cook, but not like that.

It has me somewhere between impressed and annoyed (cuz you are making me look like the lessor man).

Nice job!

Faith said...

Am I the only one that is going to mention the shocking lack of veggies on that plate? Tsk, tsk, man. Eat some greens!!!


James said...

"pan-seared," is that just a fancy way of saying burned?

Where's the color? You have monochromatic plating. I'd like to see some color in there, and I don't mean the odd use of the blue plate. Some carrot sticks alongside the rice would do a lot.

Try plating your food like this next time, http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2255/2260693406_4c74563051.jpg?v=0

I also hope you didn't prepare that shellfish in the same pan as your salmon... tsk tsk.

In case it's not obvious, I kid. Nice job. BTW, can you tell I watch too much food network?

Xavier Onassis said...

meesha - cooking shows bore me to death. Can't stand watching them.

stink - but most of my "recipes" are downloaded from Epicurious.com or The Food Network.

Only my cheeseburger was an "original" creation, and how original is that, really? It's a fucking cheeseburger.

The salmon was dipped in EYEtalian dressing, the saffron rice was a bag of Mahatma, the breadsticks were Pillsbury from a can and the stuffed clam was pre-stuffed and pre-packaged for $1.59 at Price Chopper.

All I had to do was heat up the clam and it took two fellow twits to help me figure out how to do that without winding up with a 9 foot tapeworm in my gut.

It's all a carefully crafted illusion, my friend. But one with a single goal in mind.

heather - I don't know. There aren't any identifying marks or brands on it. I think we bought the pieces in one of those grocery store display thingys. It was all a piece at a time, mix and match. Is that Fiestaware?

fiery - gotta save some surprises :)

banky - yes. Extra crunchy Jiff and Welches Concord Grape JELLY - no jucking jam or preserves and shit. The J stands for Jelly! On Homepride Buttertop Wheat bread.

And I've only received 2 voicemails from the blog.

nuke - thank you sir.

faith - ain't rice a veggie? I know it ain't a meat so it must be a veggie. Besides, I'm sure there's veggies of some kind mixed into that stuffed clam. Leave me alone. It was TOOlicious!

james - all your criticisms may be true, if somewhat teh gay.

But let me cut to the chase for you.

Preparing that dinner, serving it by candlelight with some Tenuta Ca'Vescovo Pinot Grigio and some Anita Baker in the background will TOTES get me laid. Trust me when I say I have terrabytes of empirical evidence supporting this claim.

And that is THE only reason to go to that much trouble.

Otherwise, you may as well toss down a couple of PB&Js on some paper plates and be done with it.