Saturday, November 15, 2008

Old People Fun

I feel like blogging about the last couple of days so that's what I'm going to do and you're going to take it and like it!

Just wanted to get that roles and responsibilities bullshit out of the way right up front.

Yesterday I had lunch at Tasso's with my most excellent 1st wife.

She was in rare form. Goddamn that woman had me in stitches! I wish we had enjoyed each other's company 20 years ago as much as we do today. She is one of my best friends and most trusted confidants.

The 2nd wife?

Yeah, not so much really. bitch

But I digress. So that was yesterday.

The other thing about yesterday was I had a homework assignment. You see, today is Absolutely Feisty's birthday.

Her actual birthday party will be at the burlesque show tonight at Korruption where her girlfriend, the uber-hot Eartha Delights will be among the performers.

If you aren't doing anything, you should go. In fact, even if you have plans for tonight, you should cancel those plans and go to the burlesque show instead. If you're not looking at Eartha Delight's pastie covered boobies tonight, then you hate America and are letting the terrorists win.

But the show doesn't start until 10 and there was a whole lot of birthday to fill up. My homework assignment was to find something fun to do today and entertain her.

My first suggestion was one of my favorite ways to spend a Saturday...going out and listening to live music around town. There are a lot of jam sessions that are always entertaining because you never know who will drop in.

Her response?

"Um...that sounds like old people fun. Keep looking."

You're a mean woman AF! Mean, mean, mean.

So I wake up this morning to news that there was going to be a nationwide protest rally against California's Proposition 8. It was to take place simultaneously across all time zones. The Kansas City rally was scheduled for 12:30 at The Plaza Fountain.

Perfect! After a quick breakfast of bacon, eggs and cinnamon toast on wheat bread and a big glass of ice cold milk, a load of laundry and a shower, I head over and pick up AF.

She's wearing a fucking tiara! Because it's her birthday! Awesome.

So we head down to the Plaza and the rally is just incredible. The crowd was huge! You had all the GLBT folks on the fountain side of 47th Street lining the sidewalk with signs and listening to an inspiring speech by Airick Leonard West.

On the other side of 47th street were maybe 5 religious nut jobs holding up signs talking about sins and abominations. A bunch of the GLBT folks cross the street and pretty much overwhelm the uptight freaks.

Horns were honking, people were cheering and clapping, pompous JOCO posers were annoyed that their sacred Plaza shopping experience was tainted by reality. It was great!

But it was fucking cold and we were hungry!

So I tricks her with my mad tricksing skills and suggest we go to BB's Lawnside BBQ for some lunch and live music...a.k.a. OLD PEOPLE FUN!

She totally goes for it. Ahahaha!

On our way south down Wornall I point out Dottie Mae's Costumes.


Bat Turn!

So we spend a good amount of time shopping for cool stuff at one of my favorite shops.

Go Go Boots were a prime focus. She also picked up a last minute wig for Eartha Delight's gig tonight. Awesome.

Then it was on to BB's for lunch and music, where we wound up running into and sitting next to a couple of my friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. More awesome!

After lunch we head back down to The Plaza. The location...The Capital Grille. The goal...their signature Pineapple Martini's.

When we got there, we were greeted at the door by Jackson County Executive Mike Sanders dressed in a fucking tuxedo!

Apparently there was some big thing going on that we unwittingly stumbled into. Of course, AF walked right up and introduced her self to Mike Sanders.

Neither one of us are sure why she did that.

I, on the other hand, completely avoided a woman that I used to work with who was sitting at a nearby table. Because she was wearing a fucking beret. Seriously. Who wears berets? On The Plaza? Pretentious bitch.

We spent the day celebrating gay people, making fun of stupid people and laughing our asses off.

It was a hoot! We had a blast!! My face hurts from so much laghing!

She declared it to be the best birthday EVER. In the history of EVER.

I delivered her to a safe location for a nap so she could rest up for tonight's festivities with her girlfriend.

My work here is done.


Stinkbait Boucher said...


I Travel for JOOLS said...

Of course she was wearing a tiara on her birthday. She has great taste. In fact I think women should wear them every day just because ...

Dan said...

You're a good and brave man, XO, for taking on AF's demand for fun. The fact that you succeeded places you in the Pantheon of Fun People - Senior Division.

m.v. said...

i agree that more women should wear tiaras and nothing else.

Absolutely Feisty said...

LOL I laughed so fucking hard reading this. omg. Total accurate recollection of the day.

I told you life is fun!!

I still wanna wear the tiara today.. so per the previous comment I will. No, not meesha's comment.

What a great time! Thanks for putting up with my "inside voice=)

Xavier Onassis said...

AF - Glad you enjoyed it! I've never had so much fun being a designated driver! Good to see you survived the rest of the night!

Donna said...

Now this is the best laugh this redneck conservative has had all day.

You made it all sound so FUN!

Xavier Onassis said...

donna - it really, really was!

Nuke said...

Damn XO I would totally put you in charge of any party committee after a tale like that. Well except for the martini thing (yeach). Put this next to your Outlaws outings and you are THE party animal.