Wednesday, November 19, 2008

So I'm Getting A Cat!

Temporarily, anyway.

I've actually been contemplating getting a cat lately. It appears that my habitation situation won't be changing anytime soon, so I have been giving some thought to long term arrangements. Like hanging pictures. Hanging some curtains. Unpacking some of the shit in the garage. And having a companion.

Dogs are completely out of the question. If I wanted some hairy, needy, bundle of claws and teeth greeting me at the front door every night demanding my immediate attention I'd have stayed married to my 2nd wife. Fuck that.

Cats are cool, like me. You do your thing, I'll do mine. Sometimes I'll feed you. Sometimes we'll get together and snuggle. Otherwise, we'll leave each other the fuck alone.

A good friend of mine sent out a tweet alert that she needed an emergency cat sitter and much to my surprise, I immediately volunteered. So for the next 8 days, I'll be cat sittin'.

This will be perfect, actually. After 8 days I will either be willing to pony up the additional deposit and rent to have a pet, or I'll be saying "What the fuck was I thinking?!"

We'll see how this goes.

Plus, my daughter, her niece and her friend will be over this weekend and they will give the cat much welcoming loving.


m.v. said...

If you decide to get a cat DO NOT get a long-haired kind. I like my cat although I inherited her not by my choice. It jumps into my kid's bed and waits for her to fall asleep, then comes upstairs and waits for me.Other than that it eats,sleeps and craps, sometimes pukes. Perfect pet. And the best part it can survive for several days with enough food and water, so no need to find a sitter when I leave for a weekend.

Old Fart said...

Cats are pure, unadulterated, unrepentant, evil. And they taste good with BBQ sauce.

Xavier Onassis said...

m.v. - I'm of the school of thought that believes you don't pick cats...they pick you. If they want to stick around, you are powerless to stop them. If they want to leave, you can't keep them. When was the last time you saw a cat on a leash in somene's yard?

Old Fart - "Cats are pure, unadulterated, unrepentant, evil." Exactly. So they are like a "Mini Me".

"And they taste good with BBQ sauce."

I taste best with Bryant's. Gate's is too sweet for my "kitty meat".

Average Jane said...

I know I don't have to tell you what I think of your cat plan. Good luck finding your new Mini Me.

I Travel for JOOLS said...


1. Before cats puke in your bed they will emit an unmistakable "puke howl" that will allow you time to jump naked from the bed before the incident occurs. You must learn to recognize this puke howl as the consequences of doing nothing are quite dire.

2. If a cat gets pissed off at you, he will piss on something you treasure. The worst I ever experienced was one of our male cats pissed in my husband's toolbox. I think this may be a guy thing, so consider the sex of the cat you choose.

3. A cat does not like day old food so remember that before you take off for a weekend, leaving him to fend for himself. Note point 2 above.

4. If you have a leather sofa or chair, realize beforehand they are regarded as the Cadillac of scratching posts by your feline friends. Trust me on this one.

5. And, lastly, if and when your furry friend needs to take a pill for whatever reason, I suggest you make certain you are dressed appropriately for the job. Consider a suit of armor or something like that.

That just about does it. Happy adoption :-)

Xavier Onassis said...

travel - I do, in fact, havve a leather sofa. But I am told that this cat has no front claws, so it should be relatively safe.

I have also put out at least one "cat trap". A loose weave throw blanket folded up and laid across the top of a sea chest.

Faith said...

"If I wanted some hairy, needy, bundle of claws and teeth greeting me at the front door every night demanding my immediate attention I'd have stayed married to my 2nd wife."

That's a perfect description oooofff...

the last cat I tried to take in.

Yeah, I decribed the activity on my blog. End of August/beginning of September of 2004. Check it out, if you want a little insight. It was NOT a fun time for me. Or the kitty. Poor thing...(I found it another home that wanted it and was used to such kitty antics. So everything wound up ok for all of us in the end...)

Poodles said...

Yea, me and cats...not so much.

I'm very allergic. Besides I obviously like dogs more.

Enjoy your new pussy though. :-D

Stinkbait Boucher said...

You don't just need a dog. You need THIS dog.

Chris Packham said...

Just got myself a hairy, needy, bundle of claws and teeth YESTERDAY. A dog, I mean, not your second wife, haha. Specifically, a "puppy," the adorable larval form of dogs. FACT: She can poop up a storm! Yeah, yeah, I'm braggin' a little bit.