Saturday, January 03, 2009

Packham Called It

When it comes to summing up 2008, Chris Packham (the most talented and unique writer The Pitch ever had the stupidity to let slip through their grasp) pretty much nailed it with this simple tweet.

I agree with him completely. 2008 can, indeed, kiss my black ass.

At the end of 2007, I was still in a committed relationship that began in mid 2004. It was great! I was happy. I thought I had found the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.

True, we faced a year of challenges that I thought we could weather together. I won't go into any more detail out of respect for her privacy. But I always thought we would make it. I never had any doubt.

In fact, I had reason to believe that we would even be co-habitating in less than a year. So when I moved in October of 2007, I always viewed it as temporary and never even bothered hanging pictures or curtains. I still have unpacked boxes in my garage.

So imagine my surprise when I finally realize that I had been unceremoniously dumped last spring. As far as I can figure, it was over somewhere in the April/May time frame. But I was too fucking stupid to see it until early to mid November.

It took the insight and feedback from my many female friends and confidants for me to finally get a clue that I was the only person still in the relationship.

After months of anguish, grief, confusion and heartache, I finally had to let it go and moved on.

So 2009 finds me once again unattached, back on the dating sites, trying to figure out what I really want.

There is a part of me that wants to take this opportunity to once again unleash my inner ManWhore and just go nuts. I'm very good at monogamy when I am in a committed relationship. But if I'm not, well, that's a different story. I'm Lon Chaney and every night is a full moon at Balanca's Pyro Room.

But the Larry Talbot part of me would be perfectly content to be snugly ensconced in a secure relationship with one woman, contentedly eating Chinese and watching movies on the couch, and rubbing her feet.

And there is yet another part of me that wonders if I have the emotional energy for either of those paths. I may just be emotionally exhausted and content to spend the rest of my life as a curmudgeonly hermit, yelling at kids to stay off my lawn. Not that I actually have one, I'm just sayin'.

In the meantime, I've taken the time off during the holiday season to make myself at home. I've hung pictures. I've draped swags. I've put up curtains.

I have also made a lot of new friends. Incredible friends! Amazingly awesome and diverse friends! In many ways, I begin 2009 with much more hope and optimism than I began 2008.

This isn't where I thought I would be, but it has potential that I never anticipated.

Shit. I think that may be my epitaph. I like it.


m.v. said...

I actually came to enjoy being single so much that it's hard to imagine myself living any other way.Good luck in 2009!

Donna said...

I've been reading this blog for awhile, but with this post, I finally am getting a feel for who you really are. Maybe you aren't so tough after all.

MoxieMamaKC said...

2008 did indeed suck ass...Hope you have a great Aught Nine. I'll be calling on you when Handsome's at rehearsals and I need a foot rub (I'm a sucker for those!)

Xavier Onassis said...

MoxieMama - I've been told I have great hands.

I Travel for JOOLS said...

I doubt you'll end up alone. There will be another woman in your life.

Eolai said...

That reminds me, I must follow up my shitty year with a post, sadly a much shorter post than your own.

And let me crack open another bottle of whiskey (it's late here) and I'll have a little toast for your year ahead. There's a lot to be said for curtains.

Capt. Geoffrey Spaulding said...

Been a tool and played the fool as well XO.

This much tho I DO know:

Love your brothas and sistahs- and love will come back to you.

A fellow "yeah- u ain't such a damn toughie Mr. WetEyes watching Seven Pounds"-

Spyder said...

We are happy to call you our friend.

Deanne said...

Well that about sums up my 2008 as well...sure we weren't in the same relationship, but just as ghost partners with the others? 2009 will be a banner year!! If it isn't, I don't know who the hell said it...