Sunday, March 29, 2009

Disasters in Dating Part 4

Yes readers, it's time for another chapter of "Disasters in Dating"!

Now, let me start by saying that there was no actual date involved in this story. So if you are someone I've dated recently, rest assured, this is not about you.

Call me!

No, this whole story played out in the course of this morning.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to any of you to know that I have my profile posted on a few online dating sites. It's always good to diversify. Don't want to have all of you nuts in one sack, as it were.

Some are better than others. One in particular is yielding very poor results indeed. Every time I look at the "matches" they have found I scream "THAT'S A GODDAMN LIE! THOSE ARE NOT MY FUCKING MATCHES!"

But I was on one of the better sites this morning, looking at profiles and saw one that caught me eye. Very, attractive. Profile was well written and honest. We shared similar professions. She captured my interest so I shot her a quick note.

To my delight, she responded.

"Hi Xavier,

Thanks for your icebreaker.

I, too, am honest, upfront and yes, confident in who I am.

Your profile said you were an atheist... it that real or part of your sense of humor?

I am a christian, don't preach it or push it, haven't even been to church for a long, long time. But, I do live it.

~~~ personal info redacted ~~~

If you'd like to respond more, write me.

~~~ personal info redacted ~~~

-the Yahoo police will get me if I don't code it that way.

~~~ personal info redacted ~~~


Thanks Xavier,

~~~ personal info redacted ~~~"

Sweet! Sounded like maybe I should explain myself, so I did. I won't bore you with those details. You all know I'm an atheist, you all know why, you've all heard it before. The important thing for you to know is that I sent her the email from my Xavier Onassis account that has the link to my blog on it.

Here is what I got back.

"Hi Xavier,

Thanks for the reply, and I really did appreciate your explanation.

I clicked on your Hip Suburban White Guy link and was blown away. I am a simple girl from the country, now living in the big city. I think you are way too "out there" for me. I don't think we could share in a conversation. OK, I could probably not share in a conversation with you.

You seem very intelligent and knowledgeable about alot of things, that I am just not interested in. I would bore you to death. Don't get me wrong, I'm intelligent, just try to stay away from a life of sarcasm, ranting and raving. Makes my head hurt!

I am more about two people sharing each other's lives and interests. Making each other feel like they are on top of the world. I don't care what the rest of the world thinks.

~~~ personal info redacted ~~~

I believe in live and let live.

I think I could fuck your brains out, show you some feelings that you've never felt before, but then that would be judgemental of me, you would say something, I would be out in left field, and our time together would be over.

Thanks for your time and writing back- I just don't think we are a good match."

I have to say, she seems to have a pretty good head on her shoulders. She made a good call.

I actually thought about removing the link to the blog from my auto-signature, but I decided that would be dishonest so I left it in.

Jaclyn was right! Why am I not surprised?

When I started my blog just over 3 years ago, the "Xavier Onassis" persona was a buffer between the real me and the Internet masses. Kind of like a super hero's secret identity. It allowed me the anonymity to do and say things that I might not do or say in real life. Outrageous, inflammatory things. Established local bloggers seemed to be doing that to get attention and traffic, so I thought I needed to do that too.

But over time, much like an old married couple, I've become more like XO and XO has become more like me. Which probably explains why this blog has become so fucking boring.

The nexus of this merger came when I heard one of my most respected friends and blogging buddies describing me to a new blogger (and my new BFF) by saying "XO in real life is EXACTLY like he is on his blog." And I took it as a compliment.

Well, fuck me running!

I suppose I should view this as a good thing. From now on,

"Instead of a couple of months of expensive, awkward dinners, happy hour drinks and strained social activities, why don't you just spend a couple of hours reading my blog and get back to me."

It does seem to be a much more elegant and streamlined approach.

So much simpler.


m.v. said...

This is exactly what I think. After getting burned once, I now have my blog upfront to clear up potential misunderstandings. Much worse when it happens later by accident, when things actually matter. Even if I deleted mine today, there are still plenty of traces left around for everyone to see.

Spyder said...

I like to think that I know you. You have always been a gentleman in my presence. You are fairly quiet at Blogger gatherings (compared to some of us). And usually leave early. I have never found your blog boring. When you talk about NASA & space you reveal your nerdiness. I don't believe that neither you or I have tried to "convert" the other. But then I like to think we respect each other.

Xavier Onassis said...

m.v. - I am a True Believer in honesty.

Spyder - You do know me. We have known each other from the very beginning. I have never tried to change you and you have never tried to change me. I have the upmost respect for your beliefs. You would not be who you are without your faith and the local blogger community would not be what it is without you. I wouldn't change a thing.

"The D" said...


Are you trying to tell us that your real name is, in fact NOT Xavier Onassis??!?

I am shocked and beside myself with disbelief.

Jokes aside why invent X.O. and just be yourself?

That's the way my blog is "The D Rules" is the real me. Of course that may be the problem.

MoxieMamaKC said...

You're my favorite atheistic space nerd in all of Blogdom! Being well removed from the dating scene, I have wondered how bloggers deal with dating and their blog. My husband doesn't even know I blog and I hope my pseudonym is enough of a buffer to keep me out of trouble in the real world. I say just keep being you. It's weird the dating site would match 2 people so incompatible...

Nuke said...

Dude, chick was nuts. But you know what they say "the crazier the chick, the hotter the sex".

And let's face it, you got a girl who prides herself on living the Christian Life to brag about fucking your brains out. You could have totally played that into a one night stand. The fact that you didn't says more about the real guy under the XO persona than any rant I have seen on here.

Spyder said...

XO Thank you!

Nuke- You're spot on. I'm glad you mentioned it.

I Travel for JOOLS said...

I agree with Nuke and Spyder. In fact, I thought it was just a little something you threw into the conversation to mix it up a bit.

Something's not right here.

Xavier Onassis said...

Nuke, Spyder and Jools - There was a time, not so long ago, when I would have striked at that bait like a game fish and fought my way into the boat.

These days, I can't be bothered. I don't have the time or energy for upstream spawning.

Net me or leave me alone. I could give a shit.

Joe said...

Let the prospects see your site. Its a great way to weed 'em out. As your story shows.
I use my real first name on my blog. I don't really give a shit. Nobody has hunted me down, at least not yet. I guess since I've mentioned my employer, what I do, when I work, et al, it wouldn't be all that hard to show up here and figure out which one I am.
I figure the XO I see on your blog is the XO I would meet in person. And its all good to me. (ass kissing now over)