Disasters in Dating Part 5

For those of you who don't know, online dating sites are filled with bogus profiles.

"WHAAAAT??? Say it ain't so, XO!"

It's very fucking much so, Virginia, you gullible little slut.

The most benign form of bogus profile is the mildly dishonest profile. I'm not packing "a few extra pounds", I'm "average". I'm not "overweight", I'm packing "a few extra pounds". Smoker? "I'll tell you later". Want kids? "I'll tell you later".

These folks are mostly harmless.

Then you have the pocket pickers.

You create a profile on a singles sight for free which gives you a certain level of access and communication with other members. Then you start getting "emails" from other "members" at the higher level of membership and the only way you can respond to them is to upgrade to a paid membership.

BOOOOGUS! I call shenanigans!

I've been the recipient of such emails from women allegedly in their 20's or 30's, accompanied by incredibly hot pictures, containing the most generic compliments imaginable, and promising all manner of hedonistic enticement.

I'm not an idiot. This ain't my first rodeo. There are only two possibilities. Bogus profiles created by the website to entice me to up my membership, or hookers.

Umm, NO! Not responding to either one, but thanks for stopping by. GFY.

But today, I spotted a new variety. I'm gonna give it to you in reverse order. I received an email and was compelled to click through to the profile. Here is the profile.

*****

People often use words like vibrant, dynamic, and outgoing when describing me. I consider myself to be an intelligent, personable, attractive woman who enjoys meeting others--especially those possessing that same zest and passion for living that I have made a part of who I am everyday. I am well traveled and can enjoy a conversation with people from all walks of life and all interests. I value intelligence, wit and humor. I'm not much into sports, but would rather spend the afternoon walking around one of the lakes, seeing a movie, or taking in the arts. I am fortunate to have a large circle of friendly acquaintances and a close circle of family and trusted friends. I am not here looking for a soulmate or a spouse, but rather to meet new people, make some new friends, and possibly find a special someone to make new memories with, share new adventures and dream big dreams. I remain a hopeful romantic. Let's talk and explore the possibilities!

*****

Well that was a well written, articulate profile. No picture attached to it, but still, not bad.

Here is the email that this articulate and well spoken woman allegedly sent me that compelled me to learn more about her. Other than blanking he email address, it has not been edited or enhanced. This is exactly he way I received it.

"Xavier, Hello!

I to write to you yahoo,have casually encountered on your photo and it was pleasant to me,I read your history and I even have smiled,I wish to have with you acquaintance and I hope,that you here are with the same purpose-to find the friend. Write to me ##########@yahoo.com I attractive,but the lonely girl and I search for acquaintances. "

I'm guessing she has an uncle in Nigeria who is a government official who needs my assistance getting funds out of the country and only needs my account number to transfer the money.

I guess I'll find out Thursday over lunch. Wish me luck!