Wednesday, September 02, 2009

I Must Be Missing Something

So the much-hyped Joe Miller Salon.com story came out today about his brief brush with power and fame, Kansas City style.

What a fucking yawn fest.

I apologize in advance because I know this is going to sound harsh and mean-spirited. I don't mean it to be. I'm just really confused.

When I first started blogging over 3 years ago, Joe Miller was "kind of a big deal".

Joe Miller was a big-time blogger.

Joe Miller wrote a book.

Joe Miller's book won some award.

Joe Miller's book might be made into a movie.

Joe Miller was hired to be Mark Funkhouser's Communication Director.

Joe Miller.

Joe Miller.

Joe Miller.

Another local blogger even gave Joe Miller the video equivalent of a big slobbery blow job, which he later took down after his little feelers got hurt.

Here is the source of my confusion.

I used to follow Miller's blog. I used to follow him on twitter. I read his Salon.com article.

I just don't get it. I have never read anything my Joe Miller that made me want to read anything else by Joe Miller.

Everything he chose to blog about was boring.

Everything he tweeted about was boring.

I never read his book, mostly because it sounded boring and had the longest, most confusing and boring title I've ever seen.

"Cross-X: The Amazing True Story of How the Most Unlikely Team from the Most Unlikely of Places Overcame Staggering Obstacles at Home and at School to Challenge ... Community on Race, Power, and Education"

I don't know if the ellipses are actually part of the title or if Amazon just said "Fuck it, we're taking some of this shit in the middle out because it's too goddamn long!"

Seriously, Joe? Couldn't come up with a title like "Gravity's Rainbow", or "The Stand"?

Help me out here! I'm no writer. I don't have the credentials to pass judgement on someone who makes his living getting paid to write. No one has ever paid me to write a word.

But I've been reading for the better part of half a century and I know boring when I read it.

His narrative is as dry, dusty and unappealing as my dead grandmother's vajayjay.

Just look at the Salon.com article. He took a subject that actually had some inherent drama and interest and he sucked all of the life and juiciness right out of it and turned it into an antiseptic political post mortem filled with a lot of metaphysical and moral ass covering.

I need somebody smarter and more talented than me to help me out. What am I missing?

How is it possible that Joe Miller gets paid for writing but Mark Smith doesn't?

That's just fucking crazy.

5 comments:

Old Fart said...

I'm always amazed when we agree on something, and just have to mention it.

Mark Smith is one talented son-of-a-bitch.

Joe Miller can't hold my attention any longer than it takes me to read his opening line, and click the Home Page button on my browser.

Of course, like you, I'm not a talented writer. I will give you props for having more talent than I do.

OK.. love fest is over... back to kicking your ass. Whats next? ;-)

Xavier Onassis said...

Old Fart - You know I got nuthin' but luv for ya brutha! See what I did there? I used the no-homo "luv" thing.

Kick away my friend!

May said...

I liked the Salon article, but I'm with you on the blog and book. I stopped reading the book 1/4 of the way through because it just didn't hold my interest one bit, even though it seemed like it should have been a good story. Pretty disappointing.

Faith said...

His blog was never interesting to me, so I never even attempted to check out the book. But I blog about things like periods, ghosts in my house, and people that piss me off, so what do I know?

Agreed 100% on the question of how someone like Joe can get accolades galore while someone like MM get barely noticed. It's the way the media world crumbles, I guess. It's not fucking fair, is all.

Midtown Miscreant said...

I couldnt agree more, especially the part about me. ;)