American History in GTO's Own Words

My daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis, recently summarized for me what she has learned about American history.

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American history synapses. (1776-present day)

"Oh hey lets fight the British so we can be cool by ourselves"

[insert revoloutionary war here]

"now lets make some laws n junk"

"oh, better idea. These people are dumb let's take all their land and put them in these lame reservations"

[insert indian wars here]

"oh, and lets enslave these people cuz they suck.

[insert civil war here]

"Just kidding! Give them rights. They're equal"

"Yeah! War! America! Beer! FOOTBALLLLLLLLLLL"

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I think she totally gets it!