Saturday, November 27, 2010

Beer Can Chicken

I've only made this once before when I followed a recipe by the book. This time I had some fun with it.


A whole fucking chicken
A Beer Chicken Rack
Some Thyme and some Basil
Olive Oil. Extra Virgin or Trailer Trash Slutty. Your call.
McCormick Peppercorn Medley Grinder
McCormick Sea Salt Grinder
McCormick Grill Mates Chicken Rub
Old Bay Seasoning
Sweet Yellow Onion
Some beer and a can. Or a can of beer.

Take the chicken out of whatever packaging it's in and pull out the giblets. Throw that shit away. Some folks will try to tell you to keep it for soup stock, or fried gizzards or some such shit. Fuck that. I don't eat guts. Throw that shit away. Or feed it to your dog or cat.

Next, wash the chicken inside and out. Wash it good! When you're done washing it, set it on a platter lined with paper towels. Take some more paper towels and pat it dry.

Mix the thyme and basil together and rub that all around the inside of the chicken.

Take some olive oil and pour it into the palm of your hand. Rub your hands together and then work the olive oil into the skin of the bird. Massage that chicken like it's your new girlfriend.

Then take the Peppercorn, Sea Salt, Chicken Rub and Old Bay and season the chicken to your taste.

Cut the Sweet Yellow Onion into wedges and shove a couple of them up the chickens ass. Not too many or the chicken won't sit sit in the can rack right.

These racks are maybe 5 bucks and you can get them just about anywhere. They make this so much easier.

I don't drink canned beer because I'm not a fucking animal. I'm a human being. All I had on hand was some Boulevard Single Wide IPA. So I used a funnel to decant a bottle of the IPA into an empty Diet Coke can.

I put the Coke can full of beer into the rack and mounted the chicken. When I was done mounting the chicken, I put it onto the rack over the can of beer.

Beer Can Chicken is typically cooked on a charcoal or gas grill, but I made mine in the oven. Set the oven to 375 and cook for about 90 minutes.

It comes out looking something like this.

Add some boiled spuds, some biscuits and gravy and you've got a right proper Ray County feast on your table.

Bone Abba Teat!


AnnoyingJoe said...

A whole fucking chicken? What if I only have a whole friggin' chicken? Or a freakin' chicken? or an abstainate chicken?

Ur not a fucking animal? How did you procreate without fucking? seeing as ur an animal and all....

Anonymous said...

annoying joe is gay for trying to subsidize fuckin for friggin. cover your kid's eyes homo if its the reason. if not, you're definitely gay.

Anonymous said...

+1 for the gayness.

White guy, I love your delivery, but your assessment of cans is fucked. Light kills beer. Cans cool faster, let in zero skunks ass provoking light pollution, and you can carry more because they are lighter. Also, you can fit more cans in your faggy hipster side bag, if you happen to be into that.

I'll be trying this shit soon. Thanks