Wednesday, September 07, 2011

GODFUCKINGDAMNIT!!!

I let that fucking Dean Wescott at Minsky's pizza piss me off again!

I got into a pissing match with Minsky's just over a year ago and swore I'd never deal with them again. Because they're ASSHOLES They apparently noticed that I haven't done business with them in a while so they sent me this coupon.


Look at it very carefully. $10 off. Valid for Dine In, Carry Out and Delivery. The only condition is "Not valid with any other offers, or lunch specials"

So I get this in the mail and I fondly remember Minsky's Italian Steak Sandwiches. I get me a hankering.

Listen, the 40+ comments I got on the linked post were all clear. The whole kerfuffle was my fault. I admit that. It was a misunderstanding and I was at fault.

So I'm thinking, all's forgiven. I'm willing to tuck my tail between my legs, take Dean Wescott up on his offer and come back to the welcome embrace of the Minsky family and have me an EYEtalian Steak Sandwich for the first time in over a year.

So I call the motherfuckers. I tell them that I have this "We Miss You" coupon for $10 off Dining Certificate and that I want to use it on a delivery order.

I order an Italian Steak Sandwich ($6.99) and a House Salad ($3.99). That came to $10.98. Apply my "We Miss You" coupon for $10 off and my out of pocket total = $0.98. Fucking sweet!

Then the girl taking my order mentions something about a $10.00 minimum for a delivery order and puts me on hold.

Then some asshole motherfucker named "Brian" gets on the phone. He restates their $10.00 minimum threshold for a delivery order and tells me MY order is only 98 cents.

I tell him no, My order is $10.98. That meets your threshold. I'm just using the coupon that YOU sent me!

"Brian" wants me to order another $9.02 worth of food that I don't want or need before they will honor their own fucking coupon that THEY SENT ME! The coupon doesn't say anything about a minimum order for delivery. The coupon doesn't say that in order to qualify for the $10 discount that delivery orders must total over $20.00.

I point out to "Brian" that their coupon doesn't state any of these conditions and he arrogantly says "That's why I'm telling you now."

FUCK YOU MINSKY'S!

FUCK YOU DEAN WESCOTT!

FUCK YOU "BRIAN"!

KISS MY ASS AND SHOVE YOUR STEAK SANDWICHES UP YOUR UNLUBBED ASS!

Not only will I seriously (I really mean it this time) never EVER do business with you again, I will mount a MASSIVE BLOGGER CAMPAIGN with a CALL TO ACTION to all of my dozen or so declining, apathetic followers to join my MINSKY'S EMBARGO!

Minsky's days are numbered! With the strength of my blog and my cult-like followers, Minsky's could be driven out of business within a few decades!

FEEL MY POWER AND TREMBLE!!!

9 comments:

Joe said...

Actually X, I think you're in the right on this one. There's no minimum purchase once you pass the $10 threshold, and its not your fault that you should only have to pay the driver .98 and a tip. Whoever wrote the coupon out didn't think it all the way through.
That said X, its just a sandwich. Watch your blood pressure and don't pop a gasket over it.

Donna said...

Wait... Minsky's has an Italian steak sandwich? And it's good? I'm tucking that info back into the recesses of my mind for future reference, because I haven't had a decent Italian steak sandwich since Wimpy's closed.

kcmeesha said...

so you wanted your food free AND delivered? does it come with happy ending too?

Nick said...

Huh? What did you say? Speak up, I can't hear you...

emawkc said...

Try again, only this time don't mention the coupon until the driver arrives at your door.

Also, tip him at least $.02

Faith said...

I'm with you this time, too, XO!

And I really hate Minsky's already, so I pretty much joined your campaign/embargo before you even asked.

I think that should earn me a few XO brownie points, dammit. :D

Logtar said...

I have not been there since I moved to Chicago... where I can have real EyEtalian sammiches! So sure, I will join your weird embargo, you crotchety old man!

I Travel for JOOLS said...

XO is right on this one. Minsky's should not argue this. It does not speak well for them. No fear of me ever going there.

Superdave said...

Sorry ass damn place have always wanted to try Minsky's but never have and you best believe I won't now.

I walked into my bank today and a VERY young person before doing what I wanted asked me for some ID. Sorry I had a bank deposit and several other things to deal with and I fucking went off. As a rule I do this at the drive up but today I as well wanted to order more deposit slips so as to not hog a lane at the drive up I go inside you know being kind to my fellow bankers and Cathy Snotnose wants ID.
I right then said here is some ID girl now give me every dime I have in this joint because I am out of here. Then some other older lady who I didn't know either comes running over asking what is wrong and then I look around and there isn't one employee in the joint who I knew. I ask where is so in so or so in so and she was well they are off today. In short I do believe they got rid of all the good help brought in a bunch of kids who know nothing and nobody and will work for less money to bother asking me for some ID when I want to put MONEY IN THE FUCKING BANK.

When I hear business whining about where did the customers go I ask them point blank well where did the service go?