Tuesday, August 12, 2008

So, I Got a Speeding Ticket

Happened on the way into work this morning, west-bound 24 Hwy just east of I-435.

I totally deserved it. Doing 55 in a 35 zone.

I was driving like an asshole. Which I am. I aggressively passed a lot of people who got my derisive stink-eye, a disgusted shake of my head, and a clearly mouthed "Jesus Fucking Christ you stupid fucking cocksucking doorknob!" on my way around them.

No doubt everyone of them were laughing their asses off and fist punching the air as they drove by and saw me pulled over. That would have been my reaction had the situation been reversed.

It was just a matter of time.

No idea how much this will cost me. But the fact that I managed to surreptitiously get my seat belt fastened before the cop made it to my window means it will be at least $50 bucks cheaper than it could have been.

Already had my license and insurance card in the window by the time he walked up.

For a (probably) costly pain in the ass it actually went fairly smoothly. The cop (Kansas City) was polite, professional and didn't talk any more than necessary. He didn't lecture me and I didn't protest or bitch. It was business transaction.

He told me the city would mail me the fine and I won't have to appear in court.

Took about 5 minutes. Which wasn't bad, but if I had 5 minutes to spare I wouldn't have been fucking speeding!

I think cops should be prohibited from pulling people over for speeding during the morning and evening rush hours when honest folk are just trying to get to and from work.



kcmeesha said...

They need the money. They thank you for your contribution. Find out how to go to court and have it reduced, some rules changed last year, you may not need a lawyer.

Mark Smith said...

figure 175 to 200 beans including costs.

Joe said...

The insurance hike is what keeps me in line. That and I don't get traffic school because I have a commercial drivers license. Pricks.

Anonymous said...

Now your going to get a lecture. The reason for rush hour speeding enforcement is simple:

Though you yourself may have never caused an accident, your chances of causing one improve every day you take to the road speeding. Speeding in traffic causes accidents. Accidents cause more traffic.

I've seen enough cracked skulls, broken limbs, impalements, and generally grotesque blobs of what used to be a person, to fill an Iraq war zone 20 times over.

Now you have to decide which one to live with. And remember, the man who wrote you a ticket, would very likely risk his life to save your life in different circumstances.

Sorry - I'll get off my soap box now. Didn't nightmare warn you about me?

Xavier Onassis said...

meesha - I was kinda hoping some attorneys like CARA or DAN would hear my plea make this shit go away. (jk - I know neither one of them play in that park.)

midtown - I was figuring it would be in that arena. Fucking assholes. Which should I pay first...The IRS, MO DEPT OF REVENUE, or Kansas City Traffic? Because I can't pay everybody all at once. I think the only branch of government that doesn't have it's unlubricated dick up my ass right now is the county. And that's because I already paid them 2 years worth of back personal property tax in May so they would pull out, wipe up and give me a kiss so I could get my fucking car tags.

joe - "traffic school"? Whatchyou talkin' 'bout Willis?

beltway - BLAH BLAH! BLAH BLAH BLAH! The roads are filled with fucking idiots talking on their cell phones, eating cheeseburgers, not paying any attention to anyone else on the road and intentionally driving 5 miles UNDER the speed limit because they have no drivers license, no insurance and a manilla folder full of outstanding warrants.

I, on the other hand, am HYPER-ATTENTIVE to every single fucking car on the road. The cars in front of me, the cars behind me, the cars beside me, the cars at the intersections, the cars entering traffic from the ramps, the cars a quarter of a mile ahead of me, the guy riding my ass, the fully loaded semi creeping like a snail, the city bus and the empty dump trunk being driven by the guy who thinks he's Dale Earnhard, Jr.

It's called "situational awareness". It's what fighter pilots use to keep from getting their asses shot out of the sky.

The only thing I don't have is a radar detector and the common sense to slow the fuck down at a blind curve.

Which is why I have a fucking ticket.

Speeding doesn't cause accidents.

Fucking idiots not paying attention to the fact that they are in control of a quarter ton of hurtling steel and glass with mere inches of clearance cause accidents.

People talking on their cell phones instead of paying attention cause accidents.

I even see COPS talking on THEIR fucking cell phones while they are driving. And they have loaded weapons in their vehicles.

HANG UP THE PHONES! Pay attention to your driving and try to be courteous to other drivers. This means getting through the fucking intersection as quickly as possible when the light turns green! Don't just sit there like a limp dick until I lay on my horn!


GB, RN said...

I got pulled over on my way home from work one morning by KCPD for going 51 in a 35. The friendly officer knocked it down to 5 over the speed limit. I'm fairly sure it was because of my awesome nurse-ness.

Just so you know, my fine is $98 for 5 over. I'm curious to see what they slap you with because that is probably what I would have been charged.

Anonymous said...

OK, you got me. My old lecture doesn't apply to todays standards anymore.

I'm just as big of an asshole on the road as you. Just I've got a "get out of jail free" card.

But go easy on the men in blue will ya. **sniff sniff** they are people to ya know.

PlazaJen said...

That sucks! ARGH.
When I get stuck behind slowbees, I just tell myself maybe I'm being saved from a ticket, somehow.
It's cold comfort, but hey, whatever mind game works to get through the commute.
Unless the person's on a cell phone and I lose my shit. (I am guilty of it, too, but I live with my hypocritical self, somehow.) People on their cell phones drive 5-10 mph SLOWER and it makes me want to ram them. It is gratifying to honk at them, though, because it startles the shit out of 'em.

Faith said...

I'm not kidding when I tell you that Monday morning, the traffic was backed up across the 91st St/Nall intersection because a tractor was in the right lane. As I passed him, I noticed that not only was he driving his tractor down a busy thoroughfare during rush hour, HE WAS TALKING ON A CELL PHONE AT THE SAME TIME.

That's where I draw the line. I can understand people having the ability top maneuver a car or even a minivan while on the phone, but a TRACTOR??? C'mon!

Talk about inciting road rage!

Well Hell Michelle said...

I had a 48 in a 35 ticket that I just got fixed. Dan at Gone Mild gave me Aimee's name at Truman Tickets (trumantickets.com). I paid her about 100 bucks to fix my ticket, plus double the fine, which is what the city charges.

Xavier Onassis said...

michelle - I'll keep that in mind. But $100 to an attorney plus double the $170 to $200 fine?

So, instead of paying as little as $170 and walking away I could pay as much as $500 to avoid paying the $170?

What am I missing here?

Why doesn't this make any sense to me?

Xavier Onassis said...

beltway - I never take it out on the "men in blue". First of all, because they are armed. Second of all because if they decide they don't like me they have the power to make my life worse, not better. Third, and last, the place to plead your case and present your evidence is before a judge or jury, NOT the arresting officer.

I believe Chris Rock has a classic instructional video on how to NOT get your ass kicked by the POlice.

Chris Rock is a wise man.

Joe said...

X, Traffic school must be a California thing. If you haven't gotten any tickets in the last two years and you get one, you can pay the fine and go to a day long class where you watch Red Asphalt and try and not nod off. After class, you get a certificate of completion and you get to have the ticket taken off your record so your insurance doesn't go up. By law in Cali, there's a "good driver" discount that you get on your insurance if you have a clean driving record. And it matters when you get your bill.
I have a Commercial Drivers License and that disqualifies me for traffic school. So, I have to drive like I was 16 and my dad's in the car with me. Makes my wife nuts.

Lance Hafner Rocks said...

The reason people pay for an attorney is to reduce the speeding ticket to a defective equipment charge. Therefore, no points on your license and no possibility of increased insurance costs. Also, too many tickets in a certain time period could result in your license getting suspended. I'm sure I could find an attorney to hook you up, but yes, using an attorney will cost some cash.

Xavier Onassis said...

michelle and lance - This is my first traffic violation, moving or otherwise, in 6 years. I'm thinking I'm okay with paying the fine and taking the point hit. But thanks! I appreciate the info and will file it away for future use.

kcmeesha said...

As your counsel I would advise you that in most cities you can go by yourself and have the first offense reduced. You need to call court clerk and find out. I've done one in Lenexa years ago and one in KCK last year. The worst you can do is pay the fine there if they deny your plea.

"The D" said...

You THINK your insurance wont raise your rates but they will for just one ticket. The you will be paying LOTS more that 200 bucks.

Also consolidate all your insurance (auto, renters, whatev) to one company. I just did (auto, Homeowners, etc)a few months ago and I save 600 bucks a year. Without going to Geico.

Xavier Onassis said...

meesha - that's good counsel. I can ask. What's the worst they can do? Say no?

The D - I already have my insurance consolidated. Renter's and auto. State Farm. For good customer's like me, State Farm gives you a freebie. If they decide to fuck me instead of forgive me, I'll dump their asses.

Well Hell Michelle said...

I had my first ticket in over 10 years ago last year. I paid it, thinking it wouldn't raise my insurance. Bad move. I raised it over 50 bucks a month. The points can stay on your record 2 years from the ticket, so you'd end up paying more in the long run if you just pay it instead of getting it fixed. Plus, 20 over the speed limit is reckless driving = more points = even higher insurance.