Tuesday, February 28, 2006

People and their pets ... JEEZ!

That guy who makes "Greenies" should have seen this coming.

People who spend big bucks pampering their animals won't have any problem hiring a lawyer and suing somebody if their precious little ball-licker gets sick.

I don't understand these people. Cats and dogs survived quite nicely for tens of thousands of years before stoopid humans took them into their caves and started pandering to their "special dietary needs". Feed 'em fucking table scraps! That's what they want! People food! They BEG for that shit!

Know what they'd be eating out in the wild? SAME AS YOU! Other animals! That's what evolution bred them to eat. Why the fuck are you feeding them some synthetic, factory produced bullshit? They ought to make dog food that tastes like dog balls. Or cat shit. Or three-day-old salmon. They seem to LOVE that!

I can't believe these people who actually buy health insurance for their pets and even get them chemotherapy if they get cancer or special surgical procedures for some serious pet affliction. They're animals! You can always get another animal! They aren't scarce, unique or endangered. In fact, there are way too many of them. The standard treatment for any animal malady used to be taking them out in the woods and "putting them out of their misery". Not anymore! Let's bring every scrap of scientific knowledge to bear to keep these little furniture scratching, hair shedding, property destroying fuckers alive as long as possible. Because we are SOOOO desparate for any type of love that we will gladly take it from an animal.

I don't know about you, but the last thing I want is to be greeted at the door buy some needy, clingy, animal demanding my attention after a hard day at work. I just want to relax. I've been accountable all day long to other humans in order to earn a living. I don't want to come home and be accountable to an animal and spend a fortune for the priveledge.

I also don't have any live plants in the house for the same reason. I can't be bothered with all of that watering and pruning. Screw that!

A steak, a blow job, some small batch bourbon and the remote to the HDTV. That's all I need when I come home at night. If I want to interact with animals I'll take a trip to the zoo. Those monkeys are funny! When is the last time your dog got an "attitude" and threw poop at ya?

That's some funny shit (so to speak).