THIS SUCKS ASS!!!

BACKGROUND: My last wife and I got divorced about 3 years ago. She was 3 years older than me. One day, as she was coming over to pick up our daughter (Galadriel Tanquery Onassis) I was going through the mail and noticed she had recieved her invitation to join AARP. I cackled like a hen! I circled the return address on the envelope, drew an arrow pointing to it, highlighted it and gave it to my daughter while the soon-to-be-ex was waiting in the driveway and said "Be sure Mommy get's this. It's very important!" [I know, I was an ass to use my daughter as the courier, but she didn't know what it was and I giggled like a school girl for DAYS!]

FAST FORWARD THREE YEARS! zooooooooooom!!!!!!!!

I got this in the mail today! I just turned 50 last September! Those YELLOW RAT BASTARDS!! Just their way of saying "You may not FEEL old, but you ARE and WE KNOW IT!"

Apparently I'm just a hop and a skip away (OUCH! Was that my hip going out?) from joining the "Early Bird Special" crowd at Denneys. Next thing you know, I'll be "mall walking".

Wonder which mall Keith Richards walks at?

Have to get me a T-Shirt made..."Women want me, and EMTs fear me!"

At the risk of being redundant, THIS SUCKS ASS!!!

Bet your sweet boopy though I'm goin' for the discounts! I may be old, but I ain't stupid! Money is money!