Sunday, March 26, 2006

Bicycles vs. Cars


I own and occasionally ride a bicycle. Although I manage to do so without being a spandex-clad, cyborg-helmeted total fucking nerd. I make bike riding cool. Got an ashtray mounted on my handlebars, and a little tray that holds my smokes and a drink. Picture someone from the Vegas Rat Pack riding a bike. That's me.

My girlfriend also owns and rides a bicycle. She's even more bicycle friendly than I am. She looks HOT in spandex shorts! She's even ridden in the MS 150 (personally, I think it's fucking cruel to make people with MS ride on bikes for 150 miles, but to each their own. Ya know?)

Well, this morning, me and the girlfriend were headed up to Lowes so she could scope out some wallpaper borders and buy some paint. I live in Liberty and we were headed north on Southview Drive. Those of you familiar with the area may know that Southview runs parellel to 291. Between Southview and 291, is a bicycle trail.

In front of us, ON THE STREET, not 5 feet away from the designated bicycle path, was a guy on a bike!! We had to slow to a CRAWL and wait for traffic in the other lane to clear before we could pass his obnoxious ass!

Now, like I said. We are both sympathetic to bicycling. Not because we think it will change the world or save the fucking planet. It's just fun, good exercise and we enjoy it. But WHY THE FUCK should I have to yield a road meant for cars to some fucking asshole on a bicycle when there is a bicycle path damn near within arms reach of this inconsiderate asshole?

I felt like opening my door as we went by and clobbering the geeky sonofabitch!

Every year, when I renew my car tags, I have to pay taxes and fees for the upkeep of the roads that I drive on. Fair enough. I understand the logic. I drive the roads...I pay for the roads.

What about those inconsiderate, nerdy fucking assholes on bicycles?? Why IN THE FUCK should I have to slow to a crawl or swerve into an opposing lane of traffic and take the chance of a head on collision with another TAX AND FEE PAYING CAR OWNER just to avoid taking out a few tree-hugging "cyclists" decked out in gay-cyborg-superhero regalia?

I suggest that a new TAX is in order. If bicyclists want to use the public roads and highways built for and funded by automobile owners, they should pay a hefty INCONVENIENCE and DANGER TAX and display a License Tag on the back of their rediculously expensive mechanical conveyances proving that they have paid said tax and are thereby entitled to inconvenience and endanger everyone else.

Any cyclist without said tag displayed, is fair game.

In a future post, I plan to piss off REAL bikers (motorcyclists) who claim that "loud pipes save lives". Yet another bunch of inconsiderate assholes. My plan for them involves very thin, nearly invisible clothesline strung across residential streets at neck-level.

When you see my body floating down the Missouri River, please call The Authorities.

36 comments:

emawkc said...

I have a car, and therefore pay the taxes you mention. So the way I see it, I pay for the right to use the roads for any damn vehicle I choose -- car, bicycle, tricycle, horse-and-buggy, rocket-sled or even a Delorean fitted with a Flux Capacitor.

Rusty said...

I'm with you on this one! As much as I like riding a bike on occasion, it bugs me crazy to have to deal with them.

Jill said...

Ha ha! This rant is hilareous. Thanks for the good laugh. I'll go back to clogging up your hard-earned roads now. (Oh, wait ... I pay taxes too...)

Anonymous said...

Let's look at this from another perspective. Are you sure that the "designated bike trail" was just that and not a sidewalk or pedestrian trail? First off, riding a bike on the sidewalk is not only illegal in most places, but it is extremely dangerous. Sidewalks cross every single street intersecting their path, and drivers crossing the path of the sidewalk at these intersections are simply not looking for traffic coming into the intersection over the curb at 25mph. Even if they were, they usually misjudge the cyclist's speed and create a dangerous situation. The same is true of "designated bike trails". The only difference may be some warning signs of the crossing, but we all know how oblivious the average american driver is of warning signs. If it's not the cars that get you, a cyclist on the sidewalk or even a multi-user path will be fighting against pedestrians, rollerbladers, dog-walkers, little kids that mosey out into of your trajectory, etc. Joggers and walkers always gripe about cyclists that whiz by them too closely and too fast. Cyclists always gripe about pedestrians that don't understand "on your left" is a request to move to the right. For these and plenty of other reasons, it's not safe to ride on the sidewalk unless you're going 5mph. If you've got the training wheels off and half a head on your shoulders, you get in the street.

Now as for your tax whine, you should note that percentage-wise there are VERY FEW cyclists in this country that do not own a car and pay taxes on it, just like your bigotous suburban white posterior. It's not like leaving the car at home for a day or two in favor of riding makes these cyclists pay any less taxes than you, so your claim makes no sense.

Another interesting point is that a bicycle literally causes less damage to the roads than they occur by simply existing and being exposed to the elements. Two smooth tires carrying 200 pounds of gross weight is a stark contrast to four wide tires carrying several tons. Cars damage the road over time with the intense pressure they create on the road surface. It's a good thing you're so happy to be paying taxes, because your car is what is causing the roads to wear out, potholes to grow larger, and ruts to sink into lanes. Bikes cause none of this trouble. Cars also drip oil and antifreeze, like to spin their tires for sport, and can really scar the road when the driver has to lock up the brakes. Again, bikes? none of the above.

Now don't get me wrong; give me a long, uninterrupted bike trail without a bunch of joggers and dogs that get in my ay and I'm happy to take it as an alternative to the streets. The problem is that these trails almost never go anywhere useful. They always ring lakes and meander through parks. Minneapolis had the right idea when they built the greenway. It's a five or so mile long commuter bike trail that actually makes biking faster than driving. it also connects up to the light rail system and another very good trail on one end, both of which take a cyclist directly into downtown with minimal road crossings. Until there are more facilities in place like these that actually allow cyclists to get somewhere efficiently off the streets, I'll be riding on your precious streets every day, and enjoying it. I get a kick out of watching guys like you sit in your metal boxes, smoking, gnawing on a McBurger, and looking pathetic while whining about being stuck in traffic. Look down for a second. A tad overweight are we? I thought so. Maybe you should forget about driving to the gym every now and then and just start riding your bike more. There's a reason people love riding bicycles every day DESPITE the additudes of people like you constantly being a chore to deal with.

Here's another thing while I'm busy venting to some conservative white guy: I bet your SUV has one of those "support our troops" magnets on it, right? If so, what do you actually do to "support" the troops? Is there some action, or is it just lipservice so you can follow the trends. No money from the manufacture of those magnets goes towards any war effort whatsoever, and it seems like the biggest oxymoron ever to me to see them plastered on the back of hummers and suburbans chugging through the neighborhood when we're overseas fighting a war based on oil (what else could it be?). The least you could do is pretend you care and try using less oil so we don't need to go murdering thousands overseas to ensure a cheap supply of it. Bikes are freedom. Get some.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bike 7 miles on the road to get to campus for my 10:00.

-Karl
(a part-time bike commuter in Minnesota seriously considering selling his car just to spite morons like you)

emawkc said...

You GO Karl! HSWG, Karl called you a conservative, Ha! He's got you're number! woo! woo! woo!

Xavier Onassis said...

Oh now Karl. Don't go gettin' yer spandex knickers in a knot. You obviously overlooked the disclaimer at the top of my site about my opinions being sometimes ill-informed. But that's OK. I fergive ya! Ya chucklehead! (insert noogie here)

I won't address every single one of your comments because, well, life is just to short and I really don't care all that much. But I'll take a stab at a few of 'em.

First off, yes. It is a designated bicycle path. Clearly labeled as such. I can send ya a pitcher of the sign.

Let's see, what else do we have here? Blah, blah, blah, blah... Oh! There it is. Taxes. If the roads were built and maintained from a general, state wide sales tax or something (hell, maybe they are, WTF do I know?) then I would say by all means! Get out there and do whatever you want. Have a picnic or spin around till ya get dizzy. Them ain't "roads", they're just vast expanses of concrete public space.

But the fact that they specifically tax motor vehiicles to fund the roads makes me think that maybe, just maybe, the roads were intended for the use of motor vehicles. That's kind of why they build seperate, designated paths for bikes. So's people know the difference. Cars here, bikes over there. Not a difficult concept.

OK, what's next? More blah, blah, blah...cars are better than bikes, whatever...blah, blah, blah.

Ah! There's the next point "Look down. A tad overweight are we?" Yes. Fucker. Other than that, mmmmm, I got nuthin'.

Let's cut to the chase. Emaw has been waiting for this...

"...while I'm busy venting to some conservative white guy: I bet your SUV has one of those "support our troops" magnets on it, right?"

Wrongo, Sparky!! My SUV doesn't have any magnets, bumper stickers or adornments of any kind (other than the imprints of bicycle helmets on the grill). And just because I'm white and live in the burbs doesn't make me a conservative. FAAAR from it. I lean so far to the freaking left I have to drive with the door open. You can call me a LOT of things! Call me a hairy-assed, flabby, ill-informed old fart and I'll just laugh it off and buy you a drink. But call me a CONSERVATIVE, and you better have a smile on your face pilgrim! XO don't swing that way. How big a boy are ya? Why, I'll come up there and...

Sorry. Started channeling Roy D. Mercer there for a minute. I'm back now.

And finally, not sure exactly how you selling your car would spite me. I don't really give a rats ass. Ride your bike all you want. But when I come around a corner at the posted speed limit, don't expect me to swerve into an opposing lane of traffic or slam on my brakes and get rear-ended just to avoid adding yet another decorative adornment to my gass guzzling SUV grill.

By the way, LOVE DULUTH! Pretty town.

Peace!

Lunatic Biker said...

Holy cow, you guys can write a lot when it comes to pissing matches. I'm really more interested in the ash tray. I really think a picture of it would be good.

Anonymous said...

That was entertainingl; thanks. Glad you seem to have some sense of humor about it all.

Just for the record, I don't own any spandex. I bike in jeans and a t-shirt, and throw on a carhartt-type of jacket when it's cold out.

I think if you looked into it, you might be surprised at what taxes pay for what public stuff. I have to admit that I don't know all the answers here either, but I do know that one common misconception is that gas taxes fund roads (implying that cyclists are freeloaders for not buying gas), which is not the case. I think property taxes have a lot more to do with it than vehicle tabs, too.

A biker shouldn't be a hindrance to you on the roads. Most bikers I know of try to avoid two lane roads with high traffic. When I ride on four lane roads (two either direction) with no shoulder, I take the whole right lane. If I were to hug the white line, drivers feel no qualms about blasting right past me in the right lane, which is not safe for me. When you see a biker riding in the street and intentionally occupying a lane, they are more than likely doing it because there is a reason it would be unsafe to ride to the right. Accept that as a necessary evil and pass them in the left lane. That's what it's there for afterall. Drivers that merely swerve around me, clearing me by just a few feet piss me off. I'm a nice guy, but I know plenty of people that wouldn't have a problem smashing some windows on your car if you do those kinds of things to them. If you're going to piss off a cyclist, you'd better be sure he won't catch up to you at the next light, because he/she may very well have a heavy U lock within reach and not be afraid to dish out some smashing if necessary. Hell; some crazy bastards apparently packing heat.

Drivers that pass by moving all the way into the other lane are the best. I really appreciate folks that even use their signals when making the pass.

I guess I don't have to worry too much though. Between the volatile temper, the obesity, and the smoking, you won't be around for too long.

-Karl

Anonymous said...

"Every year, when I renew my car tags, I have to pay taxes and fees for the upkeep of the roads that I drive on."
You (and I) pay for upkeep of the roadways because you (and I)operate a vehicle that tears up the roadways. Bicycles don't tear up the roadways so why would the riders (me) need to pay taxes to fix them.
I carry my (motor) vehicle registration and my drivers license while riding my bike on the road ... so I pay those taxes and the taxes at the pump. I don't have one guilty feeling riding my bike on the roadway, however, I ride with the idea that it is OUR roadways ... not mine ... not yours ... but OURS.
Thanks. -- me --

Anonymous said...

There's a lot of confusion about how taxes are used here by both sides.

First off, your ad valorem tax that you pay to get your tags is a luxury tax. (Look it up, it's Latin) That's why you pay more if you have a big fancy vehicle, and pay $10 for a 1956 Nash Rambler.

Secondly, road taxes are paid from gas taxes. The more gas you use, the more tax you pay. This money is 99% used for highways. You know, those limited access highways where bicycles aren't allowed.

Local road money for new roads and upkeep are garnered from sales tax. Everybody that buys crap pays sales taxes, not just people that have cars. It's like the school tax... you pay whether or not you have kids too.

So guess what? You don't own the road. Try relaxing a little bit and you'll be a happier man.

Doug said...

I think all this hot air is mute. Under the state statutes in my state I have the same rights to the road as any other user. Period, end of argument. Don't like other users on the road, talk to your state legislator and get the statutes changed.

emawkc said...

You guys are wasting you're time trying to have a discussion with a guy like Xavier. He's just a selfish, myopic, elitist, entitlement-demanding neocon. You can't reason a guy out of something he was never reasoned in to.

Anonymous said...

Since when does "Hip" mean RedNeck, reptile? Take a good look in the mirror, and then get out and ride some more, cause you're getting FAT.

Ed W said...

(Xavier, I'll post this in CycleDog later this evening...Ed)

Good to hear from you!

First, it's tough to quit the cigarettes. I saw my Dad struggle with it after being diagnosed with emphyzema. He quit, but in doing so he had to change in other ways. He didn't go to bars much after that, because having a beer at the bar brought the craving back.

I tried a couple of cigarettes when I was a teen. They made me ill, and I wasn't tempted to try them again. I found other things - booze, mainly. If I'd remained a factory worker, I'd likely be an alcoholic by now.

I always liked those Lazarus Long stories. Heinlein's theme seemed to be self-reliance throughout all his books.

Now to business. I didn't feel your post was mean-spirited since you're candid enough to poke fun at yourself. But it was a good rant.

I'm a bicycling instructor with the League of American Bicyclists. One of the goals of cycling education is to make bicycle travel commonplace and unremarkable. But education doesn't extend to cyclists alone. It encompasses motorists, elected officials, law enforcement, and
bureaucrats. We want to get everyone on the same page, so to speak, by developing a common understanding of the rights & responsibilities of cyclists.

I'm not going to lecture here, and I'll try not to climb up on my
soapbox! Let's just say that like motorcyclists, bicyclists need to
know the rules of the road just like any motorist, but they need
additional skills and another level of awareness in order to use our roadways safely. The hazards we face are often unknown to the motoring public, mainly because cars seldom topple over.

So, with that in mind, I'll make you an offer. If you're ever in Tulsa, I'd be happy to ride with you. I'd be wearing spandex, of course, because I sweat like a pig and I want to avoid saddle sores! (In cycling clothes, form follows function, but that's a topic for another time.)

Xavier Onassis said...

People, people, people! You're wearin' me out here!

Don't I have enough disclaimers in my header warning you I'm full of shit? Do I really need to add more?

I mean, c'mon! I'm as much of an attention-whore as every other blogger out there. I cherish each comment like it was my own child.

But surely you can't take me seriously?!? Hell, I don't! And yes, I'll stop calling you Shirley, but only if you ask nice, say pretty please and put some "sugar" on top and tell me I'm "pretty".

All you anonymous fuckers are confusing me, so I'll just put ya in sequential order. First come, first bitch-slapped.

Now. On to the responses:

lunatic: don't have a picture of the ashtray on my bike. But imagine one of those cheap black plastic ashtrays secured to the handlebars with a pair of vice clamps and some duct tape. You get the idea.

Next up is anonymous1: Glad you enjoyed my response. Happy to hear you ain't part of the spandex crowd. They freak me out. Unless you are Lance Armstrong or an Olympic hopefull, not sure you really need the decreased wind resistance that spandex and a streamlined helmet offer. People riding bikes on the street decked out in that crap is like some guy getting into a rented Cessna 172 for a flight to Olathe dressed in a full, gu'ment issue USAF pressurized g-suit, communications helmet and military-grade night vision goggles. Nuthin' but pretension and wannabe dressup time. All you really need is some rubber bands around your pantlegs. Anything else is just stoopid.

anonymous2: OK.

anonymous3: Thanks for using Latin. Really classes up the place. I appreciate it. Beyond that, your use of ACTUAL FACTS really brings me down. From now on, try to respond from an un-informed, emotional level. It's WAY more fun! Trust me...I know!

Doug (a real name! Yippee!): You said "all this hot air is mute". That should read "all this hot air is moot". Sorry. Don't mean to nitpick. That's just one of my little hot buttons. Mute means silent. Moot means pointless. That's why colleges and universities have Moot Courts (student courts where the judgements mean nothing and are not binding) as opposed to "Mute Courts" (where no one would be allowed to say anything and it would be really boring. Almost as boring as my pedantic response to your comment.) Other than that, I got nuthin'. You're right.

emaw: "He's just a selfish, myopic, elitist, entitlement-demanding neocon." NEOCON!! How dare you! I take exception, Good Sir! (glove slap, glove slap) I challenge you to a duel! Choose your weapon!!

anonymous4: Yeah, well, fuck you. Sorry. Best I could come up with and it seemed to match the intellectual and emotional intensity that went into your comment. I promise to do better next time if you promise to do the same. Deal? Deal!

OK folks. I gotta re-heat some pizza, watch some HDTV and get to bed early. Thanks for stopping buy.

Got nuthin' but luv for all of ya.

PEACE!

Xavier Onassis said...

Oops! One more response for ed w(cycledog. Check out his blog! http://cycledog.blogspot.com/): Glad you managed to avoid both smokes and booze. Good choices on your part. You are a wise man!

Thank you for your generous offer. I'd be honored to ride with ya. But if you are riding hard enough to actually break a bead of sweat? I'll be about eight miles behind you wheezing like a bastard wondering why I ever agreed to this in the first place. LOL!

Anonymous said...

I don't know about Missouri, but in my town in Montana, property taxes pay for the roads in town.

Furthermore, my income and other taxes pay to subsidize the oil industry. So in effect, I am subsidizing your car.

I have no idea what your tax situation is, but it is most likely the case that I am subsidizing your car to a far greater extent than you are subsidizing my bicycle.

Xavier Onassis said...

anonymous5: Thanks for the subsidy!! Can I expect that in a check, cash or EFT? I could use the money. Low on smokes!

Wolfgang said...

What kind of wanna be weekend bad ass wears sunglasses while getting his picture taken?

And then threatens guys on bikes while safely locked inside his 5000 cage...

You sound like a 5 year old. ME ME ME, look at ME!

I'll bet you a million dollars you don't have the guts to get out of that safe little car and be a man.

Wolfgang

Xavier Onassis said...

Actually, that picture was taken for my Breast Examiner ID credentials. Kind of a "Men In Black" look I was going for. Whaddaya think?

I'm not threatening anyone, but I am indeed an attention-whore. Thanks for contributing to my addiction. ENABLER!!

I get out of my "safe little car" all the time. Mostly to run away from pissed off bike riders while I scream like a school girl.

Does that make you happy? Feel better now?

Vindictive fucker!

Thanks for stopping by!

Doug said...

Oops....did I write mute, I meant moot. A mute court, now that's funny!

Xavier Onassis said...

Actually, I think the world would probably be a much happier place if more courts were mute.

Thanks for the Freudian Slip!

Anonymous said...

Hip Suburban White Guy? Sounds more like a Whiny Poseur Boy. Are you still a five year old emotionally? Waaa! Make him stop mom! I had to slow down for five whole seconds!

Do red lights piss you off too? Stopping to let pedestrians cross? Hey some of those pedestrians might not have paid the DMV for those roads!

Face it, your basically a pussy, who needs something to cry about. Even if this guy had pays this tax you suggest, you'd still bitch about it.

Xavier Onassis said...

anonymous6: Oh my God! You're so right! I'd never thought of things in those terms! How could I have been so wrong?

Your arguments are so compelling...so well reasoned...so intellectually flawless that I simply must capitulate to your viewpoint.

Thank you for enlightening me to the errors of my ways.

I will strive to be more like you.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I can't believe it finally turned out to be anonymous6's argument that showed XO the light. Congrats a6. I didn't see that one coming.

-tbone

Anonymous said...

This was so very entertaining! One thing I have to say, and all I can speak from is experience...bicycles are not for roads unless you accept the risk that you might very well die. I lost a very close neighborhood boy who was very dear to my heart by a driver who said the sun was in his eyes and veered off the road. It wasn't the kids fault, he was wearing a helmet, brightly colored bike riding gear, well off the road...but I'm left with the memory of a 14 year old boy, who was full of life and generosity. Someone I will miss until the end of time.

I was a witness to a cyclist riding on a road right next to a bike trail (no kidding, honest truth, the bike trail was not 5 feet along side of the road he was endangering his life on). Let's face it folks, just like some drivers are rude, so are the bike riders. They are just people, not Gods.

Anyone see these clips about cars veering off the side of the road and hitting police officers? You see them all the time! Here is a police car on the side of the road, lights on, an officer WITH A GUN, standing with a clipboard in his hands and some idiot plows right into him! Do you really think people are even more careful when they get around a bicycle rider? Get real! Wake up! I may be careful, but the next guy may not...and what if your car malfunctions? Power steering, brakes? What then? Who do you think "gets it"? Wake up ding dongs and smell the coffee.

I also don't understand people who can spend $40 on a helmet, $25 on padded spandex breathable shorts, $15 on gloves, jerseys, camelbacks, etc, etc, etc, and seemingly can't afford a bike rack for the back of their vehicle so they can ride on some of the most beautiful bike trails created for just them.... and there are plenty of them, with the taxpayers money...where ever the hell it comes from!

How many of these bike riders actually ride their bike to work? If you all start answering back yes, BS! I know, because I belonged to a spin club for two years with 6 avid members and one road their bike to work everyday (and by the way, he was hit and lost one eye)...another was hit during a sponsered bike tour (sideswiped) and spent two weeks in the hospital and still isn't right.

If you want the thrill of danger, jump out of a plane, go rock climbing, don't use another automobile driver to take responsibility for your dare devil ways.

If you want to talk about things being unfair, talk to your local and federal government about making mandatory bike routes through your city....but then again, there will always be some stupid fucker riding on the road right next to it!

DeeMaGlee said...

I'm tired of life and don't want to live any more. I can't kill myself or i'll go to hell. Would you please come to DC and run me off the road in your SUV? I purposefully ride on the busiest roads and take every opportunity to confront other road users when I can in the hope they'll pull a knife on me or run over my head.

I ride a beat up white 1981 Schwinn and never wear spandex. It should be easy to tell me apart from the rest of the nerd herd around here.

While you're at it, please take out a few Capitol Hill-ers. They annoy the hell out of me even more than any American-built-SUV driver does.

Xavier Onassis said...

Sorry. I don't do contract work (anymore).

You'll have to take your chances with the Random Idiots.

But thanks for stopping by!

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John said...

Riding in a bike lane is DANGEROUS. Car drivers move in and out of it, most unaware of what it is, and only seeing you in the last 400 mili seconds or so. I'm a biker 1. I own the lane as a vehicle should. 2. if I have a line behind me I pull over as needed and let em all pass safely as a vehicle should. 3. This could all be avoided with bike boulevards, take the nest street over and paint big ass bike symbols on it and make every intersection a 4 way. problem solved. Enjoy your 5 dollar a gallon gas fatties... ;-)

Anonymous said...

You are a fucking idiot! Have great day

Anonymous said...

I dont totally agree or dissagree with you... but about the loud pipes. They do save lives cause A**holes in cages dont pay attention to motorcyclists on the road, they see a hole in traffic and pull in wiht out paying attention to see if there is a bike there... IT would be great if they let me just shoot the stupid drives when i am on the road.

Anonymous said...

Bicyclists are often like eco-terrorists here in Houston. It's not only their bike, but their road as well. I got into an argument with a biketr this morning after he flipped me off for passing him and then accused me of cutting him off, which is ridiculous. These are the same guys who probably knock people off their bikes when they're in their Suburbans.

Zerothis said...

You have to yield to the cyclist because if there is an accident, your car gets scratched, his/her tissues get splattered on the pavement.
I'd pay 4 times the taxes and fees if cars were outlawed on city streets. Cites are for people, not cars. Highways are for cars.

Anonymous said...

Blogger John said...

Riding in a bike lane is DANGEROUS. Car drivers move in and out of it, most unaware of what it is, and only seeing you in the last 400 mili seconds or so. I'm a biker 1. I own the lane as a vehicle should. 2. if I have a line behind me I pull over as needed and let em all pass safely as a vehicle should. 3. This could all be avoided with bike boulevards, take the nest street over and paint big ass bike symbols on it and make every intersection a 4 way. problem solved. Enjoy your 5 dollar a gallon gas fatties... ;-)
This could all be avoided if the friggin lawbs( Lance Armstrong wanna be's)drove on the side of the road where they belong. When we were kids we rode our bikes all over the place but always gave the right of way to a motor vehicle and never had a problem. Something must happen to their brains once they strap on that retard helmet that makes them lose any common sense and do incredibly stupid acts, like riding to the left of the white line when there is a 4ft shoulder. I ain't moving over an inch to go around such an idiot but will blast my horn as I get next to him. If there is no shoulder and the biker is keeping to the right, I will give a toot while I'm a ways back to let him know I am there and give him plenty of room.
Here are some simple, basic rules that any 10 year old knows enough to follow. - - rule #1) Always remember if you get hit by a car, whether right or wrong, you lose! plain and simple.(law of physics) 2)always ride to the right of the white line of the shoulder.( sorry if this means you can't ride 3 or four abreast)
3)When approaching a traffic light try to avoid the urge to pull into the middle of the traffic lane, stay to the side of the road, and if there is no traffic coming you can proceed safely whether the light is red or not. 4) When making a left turn, again , keep out of the middle of the road, This will greatly improve your chances of staying alive by avoid being struck by vehicles making turns coming from other directions. The middle of an intersection is the last place anyone with a lick of sense would want to be. 5) When a situation arises where a rule is not clear, refer to rule 1. And to the fool who thinks taking a chain lock to my car is the answer, well I hope he's got a 2nd bike cause the one he was riding would become scrap.