Monday, May 15, 2006

Scared of heights?

I am. Very much. Airplanes have never bothered me. I understand the laws of aerodynamics. I know what keeps an airplane in the air. Never had a problem with airplanes.

But get me up on a ladder, and I get all white-knuckled and paralyzed with fear. I went on one of those cheap-ass, rusty Ferris Wheels thrown together by a bunch of grade school drop-outs at a small-town carnival with my daughter. Once. She won't let me ride with her anymore. Claims I made her set perfectly still with both hands tightly gripping the rail.

Hell, at 6'2", I don't even like being this tall.

So you'll understand why I think THIS is a bad idea!!

There is absolutely no way in HELL you'd ever get me out on that thing. I don't care if I were being pursued by a pack of brain-eating, soul-sucking zombies wielding rusty chain saws. Just not gonna happen.

Plus, you know the thing would smell like the public restroom at the downtown library, what with all of the tourist peeing and shitting all over themselves as the thing starts swaying in the 90 mph vertical winds coming up from the canyon.

Huh uh. I think I'll pass.


emawkc said...

My favorite quote from the story:

"Set to open late this year, this horseshoe-shaped footbridge (commissioned by the Hualapai Indian tribe, which owns the land) will jut 65 feet from the cliff edge and suspend 3,800 feet above the canyon floor.

It's part of the tribe's plan to create a huge disaster."

But seriously, we should just play tennis instead of going to the Grand Canyon.

Mulk said...

fook yea!

Rusty said...

Ok, that suspension bridge at the KC zoo almost makes me crap my pants! I would NEVER get on that thing

Happy In Bag said...

I get dizzy on highway cloverleafs.

Xavier Onassis said...

Me too!

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! »