Monday, July 31, 2006

Day One

Went pretty well.

My last few cigs this morning left my mouth tasting like an ashtray. My very last cigaratte was not celebrated. It was unceremoniously snubbed out with a "I'm done with you". Then I ripped up the last few cigs in the pack and tossed them in the trash along with every ashtray in the house.

Jumped in the shower, slapped on a patch and headed for work.

The patch did it's job. Do patches prolong the actual nicotine addiction? Probably. But they keep me from sucking in lung-fulls of noxious, chemical-filled smoke in order to get that nicotine. Let me get some breath back and break the habitual factor first. Then I can ween myself off the nicotine.

I am now a Non-Smoker.

Some of you might think I'm jumping the gun. Declaring myself a Non-Smoker after only 13 hours while I am still wearing a patch and have a stash of nicotine gum??

It's a matter of attitude and commitment.

If I describe myself as a "smoker trying to quit", that leaves the door wide fucking open for failure. "Well, I tried. I failed. I'll try again." Fuck that. Failure is not an option.

I am a Non-Smoker. I'm done. I don't smoke anymore. Ever. Period.

Everything else from this point forward is just a matter of dealing with the fallout from that decision and reaping the benefits.

I will admit to having one regret about no longer being a smoker.

There are so few smokers left, that when the GF and I went to a restaraunt and said "Two for smoking", we would generally get seated immediately while all of the non-smokers waited for another 45 minutes. God, that was sweet!!! Like flying First Class. Heh heh!!


Heather said...

Congrats to your new status. Now, I don't have to be an asshole to you if I catch you smoking at my hospital. lol

Faith said...

Keep it up, man! My coworker quit about a month ago, as her doctor advised her that if she didn't, she would "die soon," and since she has a young kid, she felt it might be a bad idea to die soon. The first couple weeks with her after she quit (cold turkey) weren't fun. She started ignoring me, sorta. But now she's back to normal!

It can be done. Just hang in there, and let us know if you need any support. From what I understand, the average lifetime smoker attempts to quit 7 times before succeeding. Here's to hoping you won't need that many. :)

Xavier Onassis said...

Thanks ladies!

Heather - now you can be an asshole to me for all of the REAL reasons I deserve it, not something as superficial and shallow as "smoking".

Faith - Thanks for the support. I will succeed. No more failures. It's less than 48 hours and I can already take deep breaths! You have no idea how huge that is. I can actually see myself playing golf and doing other old-white-guy-stuff.

Echele said...

Good for you dude! I know where you are coming form. It sucks but it's a good thing...and it's ultimately the right thing...and you are right, it's not an option. It's quit, period. I'm right there with ya, grinning and bearing it but really - it isn't that bad. Thumbs up, pal.

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