Thursday, October 12, 2006

GOD IS A WOMAN



Because if God was a man, and he decided to create The Universe And Everything In It, there ain’t no way in Hell he'd have finished THAT project yet.

Oh, there'd be bits and pieces of a universe lying around, maybe some seedlings, LOTS of bacteria, some extra stars, some shit we wouldn't even know what the Hell it was. More hydrogen than anyone could possibly use. Maybe some rough sketches of what he thought the finished universe would look like. Lots of cryptic measurements scrawled on stuff. Some special (and expensive) “tools” that couldn’t be used for anything else.

But it would be scattered all over God's Garage waiting for him to "get around to it".

Yep. God is a woman. She finished this little chore (creation of the universe and all it contains in 6 busy days), now she's off taking care of other important "god-stuff" leaving us in our play pen to fend for ourselves “for just a few minutes”.

Boy, is she gonna be PISSED when she gets back!

I’m putting all y’all on notice right now. When she gets back, I’m telling her that YOU started it!

6 comments:

"The D" said...

Not to mention all of the extra parts he would of had left over after putting it back together again.

Dan said...

The good news is, we only had to pay her 74 cents for every dollar we would have paid a male God.

emawkc said...

God must be a woman, because she never listens to me.

travelingal said...

XO...

I'm real sick of this unflattering sculputure...

Get those brainwaves aworkin and give me something to joust with you about..I can't do the beer thing with Dan and I am hopelessly bored...

lol

Spyder said...

You're right! Just look at the birds, all the colors. If God was a man they would probably be all the same color, maybe beige. Maybe God is a gay man.... Creation is so colorful and coordinated.

Travelingal: Some of us are slowly becoming that goddess figure. So enjoy those perky tatas while you can.

Xavier Onassis said...

travelingal - your wish is my command.