Thursday, November 30, 2006

Wintery Comfort Food

When I saw that we were going to get our first, big, winter storm of the season, I immediately headed for the store and started assembling my first big pot of beef stew of the season.

Greg, over at Death's Door published his secret recipe for perfect fried chicken a long time ago.

If Greg can share his fried chicken, I guess I can share my beef stew. It's the best fucking stew you will ever taste. Guaranteed.

I won't focus too much on specific quantities. It's a stew. The key is in the preparation...not specific ratios of ingredients.

The basic ingredients are:

A bunch of stew meat.
A mess of potatoes.
Some celery.
Some carrots.
A big sweet onion.
Some mushrooms.
REAL butter.
Worcestershire sauce
McCormick's Steakhouse Seasoning grinder
McCormick's Peppercorn Medley grinder
2 regular cans or 1 big can of Rotel tomatoes
A bunch of real tomatoes
Some brown sugar
Some red wine or beer
A skillet with a lid
A dutch oven or other suitable stew pot with a lid.

OK. First thing to keep in mind is that this is BEEF Stew. That means the primary ingredient should be BEEF. And what goes with BEEF? Potatoes. The bulk of the ingredients are meat and potatoes. Everything else is just there for flavor and color.

Second thing is keep in mind that you should be able to get most of the main ingredients scooped into a spoon that will fit into your mouth. That means making sure the meat, potatoes, carrots and celery are all cut up into bite-sized pieces. If you buy pre-cut stew meat packs at Price Chopper, those are perfect. Cut your potatoes to be about the same size. All the other ingredients should be smaller.



Preheat your skillet

Toss in about a tablespoon of REAL butter. I use Land O Lakes. Its real fucking butter and the babe on the box is smokin' hot.

Throw in enough chopped up sweet onions to cover the bottom of the skillet. My favorite is Vidalia onions. But you can experiment with purple onions, white onions, little fucking pearl onions, scallions, have fun. Just make sure your brown them in real butter.

Cover the onions with stew meat. I generally use pre-cut stew meat. But you can upscale by cutting up your own roast or steaks. Go with Black Angus or even Kobe Beef if you want to go all gourmet.

Season the meat using your Steakhouse and Peppercorn Medley grinders. Be very liberal. You are of course free to experiment with other seasonings, but these two get very good, consistent results for me.

Cover the seasoned meat in sliced mushrooms. I just use regular mushrooms. But you can substitute portabellas or even morels. Be creative.

Toss in a bunch of Worcestershire sauce. Or soy sauce. Never tried that, but it would probably be good.

Cover the skillet and let that shit cook. Toss it around occasionally until the onions are caramelized and the meat is browned and done.

Then just dump ALL of that concoction into the stew pot. Don't drain anything! Put it all in!

Repeat these steps until all of your stew meat is cooked. I usually do about 3 skillets worth. Remember, its BEEF stew!


While the meat is browning:

Open the Rotel tomatoes and throw them in the stew pot.

Set the heat under the stew pot to simmer.

Toss in a handful of brown sugar.

Chop up the potatoes, carrots, tomatoes and celery and throw them into the stew pot.

Add the skillets full of cooked up stew meat as they become ready. Just dump all that shit in there.


After everything has been browned, chopped and tossed in the pot, you will need to add some more liquid. I usually start with some extra Worcestershire sauce. But you still need more liquid. This is where you can really get creative. The easy answer is somewhere between a half and a full bottle of beer. But which beer? You can play around with lagers, dark foreign beers, wheat beers, designer beers, go nuts. You can also substitute the beer with red wine. Again, lots of room for experimentation with different wines.

I've also been known to throw in a bunch of green beans. Experiment with different potatoes, different onions. Maybe add some bell peppers. Some cilantro. I've will occasionally toss in a couple of bay leaves.

No two pots of stew are exactly the same, but every one is fucking delicious!

After all of your ingredients are in the pot, cook them over a very low heat for 2-4 hours. Stir it occasionally and keep reducing the heat to just barely what it takes to make it boil. When the entire big pot is still boiling when your heat has been reduced to barely a simmer, cook it for another hour or so.

Your house will be filled with the most incredible aroma and ambience. Anyone who walks in the door, even a perfect stranger, will immediately feel welcomed and at home.

When it's finally done, don't eat it. You can if you want...won't hurt anything.

But if you let the pot cool to on the stove for a bit, put the entire pot into the fridge over night, and then re-heat it on the stove the next day?

EXFUCKINGSQUISITE! You got to let all that shit mingle and get to know each other. NEVER just scoop out a bowl and pop it in the microwave! ALWAYS reheat the entire pot, slowly, on the stove and then take what you want of the stewy goodness. Put the rest back in the fridge.


Hot Buttery French Bread

Hot Buttery Texas Toast sprinkled with shredded cheese and put under the broiler.

Hot Buttery Biscuits

Hot Buttery Crescent Rolls

Hot Buttery Cornbread (with honey)

Follow my instructions and it won't matter if its 50 fucking degrees below zero outside and the entire house is buried in snow.

You will feel all warm and cuddly.

Especially if you wash the whole thing down with a few glasses of small batch bourbon and put a fire in the fireplace.

Happy fucking winter!


Tony said...

You go to Hell X-man. I'm stuck inside with bag of Doritos and Kool-aid and now I'm hungry! Nice photo though, I think I'm gonna make this as soon as they dig me out from the 5 inches of snow that has paralyzed KC.

Xavier Onassis said...


My man! You were the one who inspired me to start this blogging shit in the first place.

I got 4WD. Tell me where you are. I will bring over enough hot beef stew and warm buttery bread for you AND your lady.

If you don't have a fireplace, I'll sit cross-legged on the floor holding a lit Zippo while you and your woman eat.

I owe you that much.

Xavier Onassis said...

BTW, that's an actual picture of my actual stew.

Heather said...

Damn...that looks a lot better than the fish sticks I had last night.

travelingal said...

You're killing me.

Echele said...

I'm going to make soon as the weather stops going from 70 to 50! Sounds awesome!

Spyder said...

I never would have thought of putting brown sugar in stew.

Xavier Onassis said...

spyder - yeah, I know...sounds weird. I hate to admit this outloud, but I actually picked that trick up from That Demon Bitch From Hell, the latest Ex Mrs. Onassis. She had this old family recipe called Nebraska Swiss Steak and it called for adding brown sugar. It changes the taste of the tomatoes somehow. Can't really describe it. But it's so good that anytime I have a really tomatoey dish like stew or chili, I toss some brown sugar in there. All I can say is try it. If you don't like it, don't do it anymore.

Spyder said...

I always put white sugar in my spaghetti sauce (along with garlic, oregano, basil, celery seed, and a dash of red pepper). Next time I'll use brown sugar. I'm curious to taste the change it will make.

Just had Waldo pizza for supper. Is it me or is it not as good as it use to be?

Xavier Onassis said...

I don't know, brutha,

I haven't had Waldo Pizza in over 20 years.

But I have never put brown sugar (or white sugar) in my spaghetti sauce. Let me know how it turns out.

Spyder said...

The white sugar helps tone down the acidity with the tomato sauce.

Brown sugar: on my porridge, & in my baked beans. Will try in my spaghetti sauce.

Don't know, "brutha", if it makes any dif to you or not, it doesn't to me. I'm a she-Spyder. My husband would say I'm not a girly girl. He would also say he thinks I'm hot (amazing after 21 years of marriage!) & that I'm great with a chainsaw.

Spyder said...

LOL! Loved seeing the comments from years ago. We've come a long way Baby!