My Early Movie Career

It's not as interesting or as glamorous as it sounds. I was only in one movie, but we'll get to that later.

No, I'm talking about my first real job. I was an usher at the movie theatre in my home town. This was starting back about 1970 and continued off and on, in various capacities, through probably 1974.

We actually had two movie theatres. The big one, on the main drag, was The Beyer. They had free Saturday matinees for the kids and you could pick up your free tickets from various local merchants. A lot of the movies were recycled movie serials from the 40's and 50's or really bad sci-fi or horror movies. Not so much "B Movies" as "C or D Movies". But, they were free.

But there was another, smaller theatre just off the main drag named The Siloam. It had been closed because it couldn't compete with The Beyer. Until a guy I will call Mr. Bob bought it and reopened it under the name "Cinema 21". It was called Cinema 21 because the first movies he started showing there were porn flicks. In retrospect, I doubt that they were actual "porn". Probably more like "Midnight Cowboy" (the Brokeback Mountain of 1969 and the winner of 3 Oscars), or "I Am Curious - Yellow". But it was "porn" to the townsfolk who went apeshit and besieged the place with their pitchforks and torches until he finally relented and started showing tamer fare.

But in the meantime, he ceratinly grabbed everyone's attention and got a lot of free publicity. Clever man, Mr. Bob.

Mr. Bob looked a lot like Richard Benjamin, but a bit older and sleazier.



Mrs. Bob, who did all of the books looked like Sybil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers.



We always suspected that they were actually "swingers" and that a lot more went on in the movie theatre after hours than we knew. On the other hand, I was 15 and it didn't take much encouragement for me to start imagining all sorts of kinky shit.

But I digress.

It was about the time that Mr. Bob domesticated his cinematic offerings to a level that the community could tolerate that I went to work as an usher.

The main purpose of an usher was to help people find a seat in a dark theatre without falling on their faces and sueing the owner.

But there was a darker and much more pleasurable side to being an Usher. That was the responsibility of Maintaining Order at all times. It was the job of The Usher to ensure that a pleasurable, movie-viewing environment was enforced. No talking! No throwing of concession items! No putting your feet on the back of someone's seat! You will observe a respectful, silent, demeanor throughout the movie or you will incur my wrath.

The standard issue, weapon of choice for the experienced Movie Usher was a standard flashlight equipped with a tapered, colored cone at the "business end". Looks like one of those flashlights that the guys at airports use to guide the planes to the gates.

I prefer to think of it as a snub-nosed light saber! I could stand at the top of the aisle, next to the entrance, and hit any seat in the house with a "hip-shot". Lighting up anyone who dared to disobey one of My Rules.

I was a fucking Nazi! My very first night on the job, I kicked eight people out of the theatre for various "infractions". One of them was my little sister. I had NO MERCY!!

After we closed that first night, Mr. Bob pulled me aside. He said "Look. I rely on you to Maintain Order out there and you can kick out anybody you want, for any reason, and I will back you a 100%. But next time, wait until after Intermission, OK? Let them spend their fucking money on pop and candy first. After that, I could give a fuck. Go nuts. Kick them all out and we'll all go home early."

Mr. Bob also had some sage wisdom to dispense the first night I sold tickets to the movies. It was an old movie theatre that had one of those little "ticket dispensing cuppolas" jutting out front. The movie that night was rated "R". Movie ratings were new back then and kind of a big deal. So I asked my boss, Mr. Bob, "Should I be checking IDs?"

His shoulders sagged, his head hung down as he shaked it from side to side. Clearly disappointed that his staff did not yet grasp his entrepreneurial vision. I could sense his frustration as he explained "If the kid is tall enough, to reach his hand up, and lay the money on the counter...let the little fucker in. Now go sell some some fucking tickets."

That's probably enough for Chapter One. More on XO's Early Years later.

Oh, wait. I teased you about the movie I was in. LOL! OK.

It was "Adam at Six A.M." with Micheal Douglas.