Friday, May 25, 2007

Good God Almighty!

This is like some pre-historic, Ice Age fucking pig!

"An 11-year-old boy used a pistol to kill a wild hog his father says weighed a staggering 1,051 pounds and measured 9 feet 4, from the tip of its snout to the base of its tail.

Jamison, who killed his first deer at age 5, was hunting with father Mike Stone and two guides in east Alabama on May 3 when he bagged Monster Pig.

He said he shot the huge animal eight times with a .50-caliber revolver and chased it for three hours through hilly woods before finishing it off with a point-blank shot.

I probably won't ever kill anything else that big."

Ya think?

"The hog's head is being mounted by Jerry Cunningham of Jerry's Taxidermy. Cunningham said the animal measured 54 inches around the head, 74 inches around the shoulders and 11 inches from the eyes to the end of its snout.

"It's huge," he said. "It's just the biggest thing I've ever seen."

Mike Stone is having sausage made from the rest of the animal. "We'll probably get 500 to 700 pounds," he said."


The size of the pig aside, I cannot imagine teaching a 5 year old to kill or handing an 11 year old boy a .50 caliber pistol and watching him shoot a half-ton pig eight times an then spend 3 hours chasing it through the woods to kill it and turn it into sausage.

That is definitely not the way I would want to raise any son of mine.

Guess I'm just not cut out to raise and train the next generation of blood-thirsty, white, Alabama trailer trash.


Heather said...

My father taught us to shoot around a very early age. He did for many reasons.

1. That we would be comfortable around guns.
2. That by the exposure, any curiosity about guns would be diminished, and we wouldn't go looking for the gun stash to play around with when parents were not home.
3. My family is a family of avid hunters and sportsmen. They just like to hunt.

This is the the culture of guns for law abiding gun owners. That neither makes us uneducated, nor white trash.

I was taught to hunt very young. I never killed anything. Turns out, I'm not a horribly talented markswoman. However, my brothers fare better than I.

If I had been in the woods, and that ginormous pig appeared, I'd probably be more stressed about the fact that I soiled myself, rather than shooting the pig.

All sausage? Why not some bacon? Or ham? 500-700lbs of sausage seems a bit much to me.

crse said...

Man oh Man. If i were that boys mother....well there is no possible scenario that any boy of mine could get to the the age of 11 having any of these propensities (shooting things, chasing injured half ton pigs through the woods). My kids will do stupid things I am sure but I can assure you they will not involve forms of lethality provided by their parents. Yikes.

crse said...

Two things I forgot:
I LOVE the fact that you posted a diagrammed pig.
You didnt say what happened to the LOTRathon!

emawkc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
emawkc said...

I'm not impressed. Come back when you can do this with a sword and dagger.

"In off the moors, down through the mist bands .God-cursed Grendel came greedily loping. The bane of the race of men roamed forth, hunting for prey in the high hall."

Keith Sader said...

I think my father would have chided me for
1.) Using the wrong gun for the quarry. Using a pistol for a hog is just dumb. We use rifles for deer that weight 1/2 the amount of a wild boar.
2.) Taking eight shots when it should have only taken one or two.

True sportsmen/hunters know that a clean kill is the most important part of the hunt.

Spyder said...

I agree with Keith. I think that was very cruel to torture the animal that way, for three freaking hours! Do it right the first time or don't do it at all. I bet that meat will taste great with all that fear/pain/adrenaline pumping through it's body

satyavati said...

All the dead animals people so much love to eat are full of fear, pain, and adrenaline.

Except maybe the veal, since they bleed the little calves almost to death before they actually kill them, so that the meat stays all pure and white looking.

I kinda wish the pig had turned around and made sausage out of that kid and his father too. Idiots.

Homer Simpson said...

Hmmmmm... feeear. Ahhccccl.

Keith Sader said...

For Satayavati - modern slaughterhouses go out of their way to make sure the animals are killed as 'nicely' as possible. They've enlisted experts to help them.

satyavati said...

I don't care how humanely you kill an animal. You're still killing it. And killing it nicely doesn't make up for the hell you put it through the rest of its short, miserable life.

Murder's murder. People can try and soothe their collective consciences however they want, but it doesn't change any of the facts.

Xavier Onassis said...

heather - didn't mean to personally offend and hope I didn't. "This is the the culture of guns for law abiding gun owners. That neither makes us uneducated, nor white trash." I've just never understood that culture and apologize for the broad brush stroke.

crse - That is mostly my point. I don't want any child of mine deriving any pleasure from killing anything at anytime. Let alone turning it into a sport that propels them on a 3 hour killing frenzy. The LOTR fest fell apart because my daughter took priority.

emaw - I agree. I would support hunting if it were done on a more even playing field. Let deer hunters gird themselves in loin clothes with a knife between their teeth and chase down their prey on foot. If they can outrun a deer, jump on it's back, slit it's throat and bring it down, then eat venison to you heart's delight, Brave Hunter.

keith - absolutely right. The only defense that could be offered was that the boy wasn't actually hunting for the boar. He was just strolling the woods with a loaded .50-caliber revolver when the boar burst through the brush, surprising him, and he acted in self defense! An 11 year old boy. With a loaded pistol. Never mind. I got nuthin'.

Keith Sader said...


Would it also be hellish to insure an animal's welfare by keeping all natural predators at bay, insuring the animal is well fed, and helping with difficult pregnancies that would otherwise kill said animals?

I've known people who got up at 2 a.m. to help deliver a calf/goat/sheep/pig. So the short life was made infinitely better by *not* having to die in hours upon hours of futile birth pains. Making these people who you've apparently spent zero time with to be villains when they spend the majority of their time keeping their herds in good state is a vicious ad-hom.

Murder is murder? In what sense? Murder is a *human* crime. When animals murder it's called predation. Shall we stop the lions from murdering the wildebeasts? After all dogma is dogma.

If you want to know what side of the predator/prey relationship humans fall upon, check your dentition. You'll find massive roots on your canines - roots only needed by predators. Deer, moose, cows, sheep, etc. don't have the massively rooted canines that humans and other apes have. Apes(humans included) are omnivores. It's in our teeth.

satyavati said...

When animals murder it's called predation.


Humans are omnivores.


There is, however, no reason that people HAVE to eat animals. It's a choice that people make.

Cats HAVE to eat meat because they lack L-taurine. Lions kill wildebeests because that's the nature of a lion. It's not like they have an option to have green beans florentine instead, is it?

People CHOOSE to participate in the slaughter of animals. There is no nutritional requirement for them to do so.

Massive roots on teeth? Okay, apart from the fact that human incisors barely stand up to the name, let's talk about the length of the digestive tract of a human or other omnivore versus a carnivore and herbivore, and see which it resembles most.

The whole argument is moot, anyway. There's no physical NECESSITY for humans to consume other animals for survival in the ordinary walk of life (I am not dealing with the 'what if you were stranded on an iceberg 500 miles from anywhere and all you had to eat was a walrus' argument or the 'but you have to kill a carrot to eat it' argument either). Like I said, it's a choice people make. People make the choice that another living being, that has emotions, dreams, bears young and cares for them has to die so they can enjoy a nice supper.

You can support that if you want. I can't do it. And as far as murder goes: if you can visualize animals as 'other living beings' then you can understand that murder's murder.

That's all.

emawkc said...

"People make the choice that another living being, that has emotions, dreams, bears young and cares for them has to die so they can enjoy a nice supper."

But slow-smoked pork shoulder tastes SOOOOOO good! Somebody pass the Gates.

Faith said...

"My favorite animal is steak." - Fran Lebowitz

I wholeheartedly agree with that quote. I've always felt that if we didn't do as we were meant to do and eat animals like cows, pigs, chickens, etc, etc...we'd have one HELL of a big farm to take care of on this here planet!

As far as that huge hog is concerned, blech. I'm with Heather...I'd have shit my pants and run the other fuckin' way if something like that crossed my path!

Walter Jeffries said...

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Walter Jeffries said...

Hi, Since you're using my pork cut chart could you please provide a link back to my blog at: