Friday, June 01, 2007

Gozintas and Gozouttas

"It's the end of the day and I'm fanning through the all-too-familiar smoke of anxiety and general sense of dread and foreboding that attaches itself to my soul when I'm otherwise disposed. It's thick today and fixed to me like a leech on a lazy cow's udder."

I may just turn my sight into a redirect to this guy. I know I've already mentioned this blog, but DAYUM!

Go read this guy and then come back and tell me how my lame attempts at phrase crafting suck syphilitic monkey-ass. I'm a hack! Take the keyboard away from me and hand me a clay tablet and a stick. Maybe some charcoal bits to make cave paintings.

I'm not worthy.


Anonymous said...

Sleep with him already. lol

Xavier Onassis said...

LOL! I know, I know.

I'll stop.

Spyder said...

XO has a blog crush!

Stinkbait Boucher said...

You, monsieur Onassis, are way too kind and generous with your praise. Seriously - I'm better equipped to respond to the crazy hobos who send me lists of 8 reasons why I should die. Praise is foreign and disorienting and, frankly, I don't know how to react..

Thank you maybe? Does that work?

Now, let's see how *you* handle it! This is true by the way.

I "subscribe" to three blogs (that I check at least once a day) on my Google personalized homepage:

Coffee Rocket (Now *this* guy can write)

Lord Chimney (A great perspective)

And, you guessed it:

Hip Suburban White Guy (One hip mother fucker.)

Don't kid yourself man - you've got a great product going here and I'm digging it from where I sit.

satyavati said...

I don't know. I'm not trying to pee on your tea party but just from reading the excerpts you posted I don't wanna go look. I mean, great, there's visual phrases. But it's easy to slap on the bling and leave the content in the dust. Plus, when you wallow in that kind of style it just ends up sounding like the narration out of one of those old fashioned detective or cop movies, which got plenty parodied in cartoons and feel like a parody to me even in these excerpts.

Unless that's the whole point and it IS just a parody.

Otherwise I'm just not feeling the thrill here.

Geez, maybe it's the Oxycontin of blogs....

Don't hate me for it, okay?

travelingal said...

Ok...I went, I looked.

Brilliant writing, I almost vomited. Don't think I can handle. I mean those toes...God almighty

Xavier Onassis said...

travel - if it's any consolation (and I doubt it seriously), I'm pretty sure those aren't really his feet.

I think he google-imaged "toenails fungus projectile vomiting" and that was the first image that popped up.

Bet the owner of those feet goes through socks like a sumbich!