Saturday, June 02, 2007

Remember this boring, pretentious, tedious movie?

Well, here is a somewhat different approach to the subject of "wine" and wine tastings.

"MD 20/20
18% or 13% alc. by vol.

As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, MD 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York. This is a good place to start for the street wine rookie, but beware; this dog has a bite to back up its bark. MD Stands for Mogen David, and is affectionately called "Mad Dog 20/20". You'll find this beverage as often in a bum's nest as in the rock quarry where the high school kids sneak off to drink. This beverage is likely the most consumed by non-bums, but that doesn't stop any bums from drinking it! Our research indicates that MD 20/20 is the best of the bum wines at making you feel warm inside. Some test subjects report a slight numbing agent in MD 20/20, similar to the banana paste that the dentist puts in your mouth before injecting it with novocain. Anyone that can afford a dentist should steer clear of this disaster. Avaliable in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum, but only the full "Red Grape Wine" flavor packs the 18% whallop.

Liquor stores are starting to be infiltrated by a 13% variety of MD 20/20 Red Grape. There is also a new "Blue Raspberry" flavor with "BLING BLING". Even the lowest functioning of bums will know not to get swindled out of 5%."


JustCara said...

(Thank god somebody else thinks that Sideways was an awful movie.)

The drunkest I ever got was in college on Labor Day weekend of my sophomore year - for some reason I thought Kiwi Mad Dog was a good idea. I wish Wikipedia was around then - I would have known that "it is often said that getting drunk on MD 20/20 causes intense hangovers the following day." Try the next WEEK. My tongue was green and so was my general disposition.

Ahhh...good times.

crse said...

Oh I miss MD 20/20! It was! And there was nothing about the movie sideways that made me want to watch.....

Xavier Onassis said...

I was always a Ripple man myself.