Monday, June 11, 2007

Two Mayors

Many months ago I was just pulling into downtown during my morning commute. I glance at the car on my left and notice that it is an unmarked police car with a little old lady in the back seat. I'm wondering "Why is a little old woman sitting in the back of a police car? Was she a witness to something? Are they bringing her in to make a statement?"

I took another look and realized, "Fuck! That's Kay Barnes! That's The Mayor!" And that guy in the driver's seat is a cop! A cop who is NOT investigating any crimes, not chasing any bad guys, not apprehending any rapists or murderers. No, this is a highly trained, highly educated, highly paid law enforcement professional being pulled away from his job to star in a local production of "Driving Miss Daisy".

...

This afternoon, I went out for an afternoon walk and as soon as I got to the corner, I saw an old piece of shit red Toyota with a large package in the back seat and a box of kleenex in the back window, waiting for the light to change.

In the driver's seat was Mayor Funkhouser.

His light turned green, but he couldn't move because a young black male was casually strolling across the intersection, against the light, while eating some lunch out of a styrofoam box.

The mayor didn't freak or honk (like I would have). He waved at the guy. Then he looked at me. I gave him a nod and he gave me a wave, and he drove off.

I'm telling you, I like this guy. I really think that he doesn't care about the power and prestige thing. He isn't about cutting ribbons and he isn't going to campaign 24/7 because he has his priorities right. He has perspective. Yeah, he's The Mayor. But whenever possible, that job ends at 5:30 and he goes home to his family. I REALLY respect that.

You go, Funk! See you on the corner!

7 comments:

Chris said...

I don't think you're an idiot, and I'll tell you why:

Actually, in fairness to Mayor Barnes, my dad served for many years on the City Council of a small township in Illinois, and he'd ride occasionally with the police in order to have a better idea of what they needed. Although Mayor Barnes doesn't have that kind of hands-on reputation, we don't actually know what she was doing that day. Having said that -- wow, terrible mayor. Never voted for her.

Spyder said...

I haven't met the Funk but I think I would like him from what I hear.

Joshua Xalpharis said...

How many mayors are there again?

Kay Barnes -and- Funkhouser?

Janet said...

I actually know the husband of one of Kay's "chauffeur's". Kay Barnes never drove herself anywhere.

Although it made a nice job for a new mom who didn't WANT to be on the street with a possibility of being shot at every day. And I'm totally okay with that.

Faith said...

I actually don't have anything to say about the mayor thing, but would rather like to know if you're aware that emakc is still going wacko with the questions in your previous post? I think you figured out what makes him snap. What fun!

crse said...

Yeah why do you have two mayors? How can you not love a mayor with a piece of shit toyota and kleenex in the back window?

Xavier Onassis said...

OK, we only have one Mayor.

Kay Barnes was the old Mayor.

Funkhouser is the new Mayor.

There was one of those election thingies and Barnes is out, Funkhouser is in.

Sorry for the confusion.