Thursday, July 05, 2007

Unnatural Tomatoes

This just ain't right. This ain't natural.

I've sliced a lot of fucking tomatoes in my time, but I've never sliced a tomato that had the unmitigated uppityness to just fucking stand there, defying me like that.

"Fuck you and your Calphalon knives! I'm a TOMATO goddamnit! You want me? Come and fucking get me!"


Spyder said...

Tell me you had a toasted tomato & cheese with mayo sandwich. That looks like one of those beef heart tomatoes. Damn, now I'm hungry.

emawkc said...

Did I ever mention taht tomatoes are my second-favorite food?

As a tomato expert, my considered opinion is that that tomato is not quite ripe.

travelingal said...

Bought my first patio tomato this was big and beautiful at the greenhouse...just couldn't pass it up.

Planted it in miracle grow potting soil and it went nuts producing a bumper crop...

But they didn't taste good, in fact they practically didn't taste at all.

I'll never buy a patio tomato again.

Faith said...

You are just soooo weird sometimes.

Fiery Ewok said...

Desilu turns to Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis and says, "Why is your dad taking pictures of the tomato?"

"Because he hates me!!!! Don't watch."


satyavati said...

First of all, that tomato slice is so thick it could be used for structural support. Second of all, I agree with emaw, it looks like it hasn't quite reached its absolute prime. Third of all, if you don't know the tomato's provenance (ha! $3 word!) then how can you be sure it wasn't bred to do that? These people at the universities get federal funding to manipulate plant genetics into things Dr. Moreau would be proud of.

I'm going to have to write a post about tomatoes really soon.

Heather said...

My tomato garden is growing nicely. I've quite a few of the little green bastards in varying shapes and sizes. Hopefully, I will have my own bumper crop of tomatoes for an endless supply of World Famous Fresh Garden Salsa.

Nice knife. I have the set.