Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Halloween Store Indicted For Obscene Costumes

Three Johnson County Businesses Indicted

Jesus H. Christ on a crutch! You fucking Kansans, or more specifically, you repressed, meddling, control-freak, Johnson County, Morality Gestapos really need to have someone pull the broomsticks out of your tight asses.

Leave it to a bunch of Crusading Christians to ruin Satan's Favorite Holiday!

I'm going to figure out someway to fuck up next Easter! That'll teach ya!

Okay, now that I have that out of my system, I will admit and agree that some of that stuff probably should be sequestered from young eyes. You know, stuff like this:

I have a daughter myself and when she was in her "I want to be a PRINCESS for Halloween!" phase, I would not have wanted to take her shopping only to hear her ask "Hey daddy? What's a Goat-Fucker Costume?"

But you know what? I'm a pretty aware and knowledgable adult. I know what Halloween is all about. It's my favorite holiday. Before I took my daughter to a store to shop for Halloween stuff, I'd go check it out first and if it had Big Titty and Enormous Penis costumes I WOULDN'T FUCKING TAKE HER THERE! I'd take her to WalMart!

But charging these stores with crimes is just fucking ludicrous. Charge parents who take their kids there with Felony Stupidity and Total Lack of Due Diligence.

What is it about Kansas? Is it the flat, boring expanse of featureless terrain that makes you go bat-shit crazy and think you have to control what other people think, say and do?

Is it the gentle hills and valleys of Missouri that make us chill and say "I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut what's goin' on over yonder. Life here is good and I don't care how my neighbor get's his 'O face' on."

Seriously, all y'all need to lighten the fuck up and start "takin' care of business" at home and stop obsessing about what other people are doing.

You I'm doing right now.

This isn't even what I was going to WRITE ABOUT tonight!

I gotta go............


Janet said...

Thanks for letting me know where the Halloween store is! I've been looking all over!

And I don't care if my 4 year old see that stuff, its just another lesson where I get to tell the truth instead of lying to my kids because I'm too embarrassed.

Spyder said...

I do think you are right! Kansans seem to me to be wound just a bit too tight.

kristi said...

Actually, we're not all wound too tight, the problem is that those who are wound too tight are so damned energetic (and have support from national right-wing groups). I wouldn't personally want a giant penis costume or any of the porn videos they seized, but I don't see how businesses can be prosecuted for selling items that are not illegal. This is setting a dangerous precedent. Will they go after bookstores next?

The National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families was behind this grand jury investigation. I suspect our RW DA, Phill Kline, of having a hand in it too. It should be an interesting case, though the ways things have been going here I'm not terribly optimistic about the outcome.

Heather said...

In case you don't want to venture into Kansas for these costumes, might I suggest the Spirit Halloween store off Crackerneck Road (in Indy, by 24Hour Fitness), or all Noland road (where Pier One used to be).