Sushi

Trelvix, that world travelling bon vivant and raconteur (not that there's any thing wrong with that) over at "And Then I Said" had a post today about his distaste for sushi.

I commented on his site, but as so often happens with a verbose bastard like me, it turned into a virtual post of it's own which I now proudly present it here with eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against me.

"I tried sushi once. In Hawaii where it is presumably fresh, clean and prepared by people who know what the fuck they are doing. I just can't trust sushi prepared by FFA cow-milkers in Missouri where we are about as geographically distant from an ocean as it is possible to be.


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The Hawaiian sushi didn't ENTIRELY suck homeless-bum-ass.



Most of the flavor seemed to be in the dippin' sauce. Sorry. I guess it's called "wasabi". It's fucking horseradish, OK?

And it dawned on me. That's the secret! That's the hype! You know that you are eating dead, raw fish. So you rightfully expect it to taste like a three day old floating catfish.



But because it's really fresh, wrapped in rice and other stuff and dipped in really hot horseradish, you can't taste the dead fishy-part.

So it's not that sushi tastes "good", by any means. It's because it doesn't taste nearly as gut-wrenchingly, putrid-bloated-flood-fishy and maggoty as you expect "bait" to taste.

So your reaction is "Hey! That wasn't so bad!"

That, my friends, is the mystique of the sushi craze.

Their marketing slogan should be "It doesn't taste like ass!" or even "You could eat leperosy rolled in shit if it was dipped in wasabe!"