Saturday, October 06, 2007

Blog Evolution

P.S. (Pre Script) - OK. I added the above graphic after I had finished writing the post. But I can't let you read any further without calling your attention to Adam's tally whacker. You may need to click to embiggen to even see the damn thing. Hell, I know women with clits bigger than his entire package! No wonder when he ate of The Fruit of The Tree of Knowledge he was embarrassed by his nakedness. I'D BE EMBARASSED TOO! Explains why he started covering that shit up with olive leaves and such. Hell, I could drop trou during a Midwestern January blizzard and give a better account of myself that that. That's just pathetic. OK, enough about Adam's johnson. We rejoin your regularly scheduled post already in progress...

I need to at least acknowledge the fact that Fiery over at Atheist Homeschooler tagged me with a meme where you are supposed to detail the evolution of your blog. The idea is to repost from your archives showing how your blog has changed over time.

Well, I looked through my archives and was shaken by a very disturbing epiphany.

I discovered that I do not believe in the theory of "blog evolution".

I am amazed to find that I appear to be a fundamentalist, creationist blogger.

That is to say, I find no evidence whatsoever to support the theory of blog evolution. All of the evidence I have looked at supports the belief that my blog was created as a useless, talentless piece of shit with the arrogance to waste bandwidth, squander reader's precious time and contagiously disseminate bad information and poorly thought out opinions.

It remains so to this day. No "evolution" has taken place.

If anything, it has "devolved" into the mindless posting of multiple YouTube videos accompanied by text that amounts to little more than "Hey everybody! Look what I found!"

I will not embarrass myself by willfully exposing my early efforts to the harsh light of scrutiny. Time is a beloved mistress whose detritus has buried and hidden that which never should have been. It's all there in the archives, should you feel the need to go dumpster diving.

As for me and my house, we shall have no truck with it.


Jay said...

....and here I just bragged on your ass on my blog! LOL ok then XO!

travelingal said...

Upon close scrutiny I believe that thing IS a fig leaf .. or perhaps I need new glasses.

Tony said...

Blog evolution you say? I don't believe in it either.

However, it's hard to claim Intelligent Design with any blog.

I think turning to the Egyptian creation stories provides a better metaphor for most blogs

The believers in the Egyptian god Atum

have a great take on creation that I wouldn't want to take part in but I'd be slightly interested in watching . . . If, of course, it was legal.

Also, ew.

But the important thing isn't where a blog is from but where it's going. At least that's the most exciting for me to contemplate.

Spyder said...

That was the sorriest looking weiner ever!

Fiery said...

That was a fantastic post XO! Way to deliver!!!!!

Weiner, what a hilarious word.

When I was in school (small town) they would read the school lunch menus on the radio so you'd know if you had to pack a lunch (creamed tuna over a bisquit) and they always announced it "weiner on a bun".

Weiner weiner weiner weiner.


thepaintman said...

In reality that is a rendition of what one would think Adam look like.

Xavier Onassis said...

tony - That my be the longest comment from you I've ever seen. I checked out Atum...

"Early myths state that Atum created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut from his semen by masturbation in the city of Annu (the Egyptian name for Heliopolis)[1], a belief strongly associated with Atum's nature as an hermaphrodite (hence his name meaning completeness). Strictly, the myth states that Atum ejaculated his Semen into his mouth, impregnating himself, possibly indicating autofellatio, which has led many to misinterpret (euphemistically) the myth as indicating creation from mucus."

NICE. Thanks a lot. Tony, when you start posting links to ancient Egyption gay porn, it's time to come up out of the basement.

Thanks for stopping by!

Dan said...

What?! That's not normal?!

Poodles said...

WOW, how did he begat anything with that thing?

crse said...

What the hell? Two goddish posts in the row? If you feel the need to find a religion, please let me know. I have always thought I would make a great charismatic leader and Ill whip together something real good for ya. As for Adam's penis. Yikes. Im embarrassed for all of the judeo-christian culture now...

Brooksider said...

Michelangelo’s original concept for that ceiling panel was:

God: Adam.
Adam: Yes, God?
God: Pull my finger.

Somehow in the evolution of the Bible it got lost that the first thing God created was a fart joke.

Hey, XO, pull my Atum?

Harry Nads said...

That's weird, he doesn't have hairy nads! :)