Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Urinal Etiquette



Trelvix over at And then I said has a great post on proper male urinal etiquette and the consequences of ignoring The Code.

"Approximately 5 seconds after I'd taken my position at the left-most of the 3 unoccupied urinals, a slovenly gentleman (I think he works in IT) entered the dungeon-like pissoir and assumed his spot at the middle post - directly to my right.

He too had made a choice and - back me up here gentlemen - he'd chosen poorly. When the opportunity for a urinal buffer presents itself, one must seize said opportunity. It's code. It's law. It's fucking common sense.

The slovenly one had violated the code by standing next to me and touching his penis when he could and should have been standing yonder and touching his penis from there. We all know this. Even home-schooled kids know this. It's built-in.

Fucking code breaker
."


His response to this umbrage is absolutely perfect!

13 comments:

"The D" said...


From April 2006


Clearly a violation of rule #3

Spyder said...

I am so glad I'm female (even if I have to sit to take a piss). You guys just have too many hang ups.

mainstream said...

Hey, guys don't touch elbows while they're pissing. It's just THE RULE.

Anything else is rude, or worse.

It's not a hang up, just courtesy.

Just like, if, when you're standing up and pissing, a little fart works it's way out -that's an ESCAPEE.

If you're sitting down, and a whole bunch of them break out, it's a JAILBREAK.

It's all ok, if there isn't someone sitting right next to you. If a guy walks in and sits down in a stall next to you, he's pulling a SIDECAR.

And that's not courteous.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

Bladder Shyness is epidemic. Your support has inspired me to write a strongly-worded letter to my congresswoman to encourage sensitivity legislation.

Poodles said...

Even though it isn't quite the same, I hate it when there is a whole line of toilet stalls that are empty and someone goes into the one RIGHT NEXT to me.

T&A said...

Clearly a violation!
I'm an advocate of dividers being mandatory as well!

Well Hell Michelle said...

I'm with Poodles... women need to follow the same etiquitte in the restrooms.

I also hate when someone gets in the stall right next to me and proceeds to make a call on a cell phone... like the people on the line really want to hear me flush.

satyavati said...

Men are far too obsessed about their junk. Like they're all that and if someone gets near them they get all nervous that they're going to be hit on or some shit.

Like wasn't it Tim Hardaway who was all in a knot over the fact that there might be gay players in the NBA.. like if there WERE gay players (which there are), that they would all think Tim Hardaway was the mf'n bomb and be all hot for him??!?!?

What is it with men and their egos that they can't deal with other men? Are they really that worried about being inadequate or that their masculinity might be threatened just because someone stands next to them??

Yall just need to get over yourselves and piss already.

Anonymous said...

satyavati - what does it feel like to get kicked in the nuts? Describe it in twenty-five words or less.

I love how people can become indignant to the point of expressing an opinion on something about which they know less than nothing.

Brilliant. Fucking brilliant.

You go girl.

satyavati said...

I have an opinion, but I'm also asking for clarification here, if that got missed:

What is it with men and their egos that they can't deal with other men? Are they really that worried about being inadequate or that their masculinity might be threatened just because someone stands next to them??

I'd be obliged if you'd grace me with the enlightenment I request.

If you have a problem with what you consider to be my uneducated opinion, then rather than just spend the time slamming me, educate me.

That's like the 'give a fish, learn to fish' concept, except I'm a vegetarian.

Thanks and have a nice day.

Poodles said...

Tag You're it!

Faith said...

Satyavati, you're one of those chicks that chooses the stall next to the already occupied one when you have 4 other ones to choose from, aren't you?

Or one of those people that stand rightupbehind the person in front of them in a line, as though it might get you through it faster?

It's a matter of personal space. Some of us prefer the buffer between us, especially when doing something most consider to be a rather private and personal activity like pissing or pooing.

It's not even like I'm being a prude here...most every blogger has posted on this topic more than once (me personally? Around 5 or 6 times in the 3.5 years I've been writing), and it's not like it's news that people prefer for people to just let them have their space if they have the opportunity to do so!

I don't think its a matter of ego here. Like mainstream said, its not a hang up, just courtesy...

Xavier Onassis said...

"It's a matter of personal space."

I'm one of those people who need A LOT of personal space.

A good rule of thumb is, if I can email you...you're probably to fucking close. :)