Monday, December 10, 2007

Security guard who stopped shooter credits God



Jeanne Assam, the volunteer security officer and congregant who shot a gunman Sunday at New Life Church, said she felt weak as she approached him because she had been fasting.

"I prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me," she said. "My hands weren't even shaking. I knew what I had to do."

O.K.

First of all, a church, the House of God, needs an armed guard?!?

Why?

Second, I don't want ANYONE deciding who and when to pull a trigger based on "the Holy Spirit".

STOP BELIEVING IN FAIRY TALES!

Especially if you are hungry!

From fasting!

10 comments:

Stinkbait Boucher said...

A couple of things trouble me - in more-or-less random order:

1) You think you need armed guards at your church? Wuh??

2) Turns out you DO need armed guards at your church? WTF???

3) God hated the people who were actually murdered more than the guard who was carrying a gun and wicked eyeliner.

Maybe there's another way to read this all...

I mourn the victims of this senseless, murderous fuck-nut. No-one deserves a gunshot when truly minding their own business.

I do wonder if maybe this particular church might not need just a wee bit of scrutiny however...

Maybe this falls under the whole "God speaks in mysterious ways" thing?

Heather said...

I know that if I've been fasting all day, I usually want to shoot someone around dinner time.

Nightmare said...

Why doesn't this happen at FRED Phelps church?

Faith said...

I'm with Heather. But my hands would probably be shaking, so that security guard has one up on me, I have to admit. I get shaky when my bloodsugar's low...

emawkc said...

Stinkbait and XO, you're misreading the accounts.

You're taking everything literally when you should be thinking allegorically. For example, the metaphorical security guard used her "gun" and "shot" the intruder with the word of God.

There's nothing violent about a good Christian soldier taking up the "arms of the Lord" and "striking down" those who would "beset the path of the righteous man."

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

In short, don't fuck with the Christians.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

emawkc - good one!

Midtown Miscreant said...

I'll wager nobody shorts the collection plate.

SmedRock said...

Fucking holy rollers. People who believe that a magic spirit will tell them when to shoot are generally unhinged.

Nuke said...

1. Since churches in most states are gun free zones, I gotta wonder what history this place has that it feels the need to arm hungry shaky volunteers.

2. I like the way Nightmare thinks. God doesn't hate anybody (unfortunately not even haters).

3. Best line from a great movie emaw, I only wish you hadn't beat me to it!

Midtown Miscreant said...

If Im not mistaken this is the same church that the meth using , male prostitute frequenting Ted Haggard was affilliated with. Isnt it?