Spitzer Gets Caught With His Hand In The Coochie Jar!

GOD, doesn't the First Lady of New York look like she is just tickled fucking pink to be standing by her husband's side, giving him her complete, loving and unwavering support?

(I'd be more than happy to give her a tap of revenge sex if that would help her regain her self esteem. That's just the way I roll. I'm generous like that.)

"(CNN) -- New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer is under investigation for allegedly meeting with a prostitute in a Washington hotel, two sources with knowledge of the investigation told CNN.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, with his wife, Silda, by his side, apologizes to his family and to the public.

One of the sources said Spitzer is identified in a criminal complaint as "Client-9," and that Spitzer's alleged involvement was caught on a federal wiretap.

The governor's statement came four days after federal prosecutors in New York announced charges against four people accused of running an international prostitution and money-laundering ring that catered to big spenders.

According to prosecutors, Emperors Club VIP charged between $1,000 and $5,500 an hour and operated in New York; Los Angeles, California; Miami, Florida; London, England; and Paris, France."

Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket! Just when you think the Blog-Guf (would that be The Bluf? Seems appropriate.) is empty the sonofabitch goes and fills right up again!

O.K., let's take care of the low hanging fruit right up front.

"I have a tiny little penis..."

"...but it is very big around!"

"Should I Spitzer swaller? Whaddaya think?"

Alrighty then. Now that the easy stuff is out of the way, onto the meat of the subject.

I love it, I mean I just absolutely fucking love it when high and mighty, holier than thou people who build a career on going after sinners and Evil-Doers get caught engaging in the exact same activities as the people they condemn and prosecute.

It's called hypocisy and I don't have any fucking patience for it. It seems to occur most with the right wing, conservative, fundamentalist types. I think I know why.

It has to do with The Principal of Inherent Contradictions. There is no link to this concept because I just made it up while I was typing it.

The Republican, right wing, conservative, fundamentalist types (hereafter referred to simply as "They" for brevity) think that humans (ugh!) are essentially evil and only by suppressing all of our base and sinful urges through the constant fear of Eternal Damnation by a Heavenly Father who is watching our Every Move and listening to our Every Thought, can we be made to walk the path of Morality and Righteousness.

They have no problem passing laws controlling who can have sex with who and what sort of sex acts consenting adults may engage in and where those sex acts can take place.

They have no problem passing laws controlling what substances a person, even a terminally ill person, can ingest for recreational or medicinal purposes.

They have no problem passing laws restricting a woman's ability to control her own reproductive system, her own internal organs, or the course of the rest of her life.

They have no problem passing laws that shove their superstitious bullshit down your children's throats by insisting that fairy tales like Intelligent Design be taught on equal footing with actual, factual, scientifically proven concepts like evolution.

They are all about restrictions, limitations and harsh penalties.

Except when it comes to guns! Because everybody should be packing serious, concealed, automatic, hollow-point heat! Machine guns, mortars, land mines, tanks, whatever the fuck you want. Napalm? You bet! The Second Amendment cannot be restricted!

Or until those inherently evil, sinful (and heavily armed) people band together to form a corporation to try and make a few billion bucks. Then they are all about stepping the fuck out of the way, shutting the fuck up and letting "the Free Market" work its magic on the pocket books of the Righteous!

Can't pass any laws restricting Big Binnis! That's just downright unAmerican!

Can't tell a Legitimate Binnis that they can't discriminate against women or minorities. They should be able to hire or fire anybody they want for any reason, pay anybody whatever they want. They have a Binnis to run, goddammit!

Can't tell a Legitimate Binnis that they have to abide by environmental restrictions that could negatively impact their bottom line. They're in Binnis to make a profit for the shareholders, not to protect migratory birds or keep the planet inhabitable for our children. That don't make no money for nobody!

Can't burden a Legitimate Binnis with doing background checks on everyone they hire to make sure they are in the country legally (even though they think everyone here illegally are a bunch of raping and murdering "mud people" who should be deported immediately by shoving a cattle prod up their ass).

This is the problem. They want to be excessively restrictive in some areas (your life, your bedroom and your reproductive cycle) while completely opening the floodgates in other areas (greedy bastards making money without any oversight or controls). This is the conflict they struggle with.

At some deep, dark, level, they have this inherently "sinful" and "evil" desire to open up the "free market floodgates" on their own sexuality that they have been unnaturally suppressing for so many years.

We've all heard the old cliche about the slutty preacher's daughter.

Duh!

Doesn't just apply to the preacher's daughter. It applies to the preacher and the preacher's flock.

You cannot just bottle up and suppress normal, natural, human urges. You need to bring them into the open and deal with them in a rational manner.

This is why we see so many Republicans self destructing.

Their entire worldview and philosophy is a fiction, it's a house of cards. It is impossible to hold all of those self-contradictory ideas in the same brain at the same time without eventually causing a stroke or a supernovagasm of pent-up, prurient, kinky, self-indulgent, long supressed sexual desire. It's gotta happen!

You can build a fantasy world and try to make yourself and everyone else live in it, or you can deal with people and the world as they actually are and find a way to live with it.

Fuck the Empty Guf.

I'm back, bitches!