Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Guf Is Empty

Seymour Butz (1575 -1632), The Temptation of the Reach Around, 1627, Oil on canvas, 91 cm x 77 cm, @ Djicksmuseum, Amsterdamnit

In the Jewish faith, The Guf is the Well of Souls, the source from which all new children are born.

In the movie The Seventh Sign, the uber-creepy Jurgen Prochnow explains to the sexy-pregnant Demi Moore that "the Guf is empty". There are no more souls available. Her child will be the first child to be born without a soul. The Anti-Christ.

That is the trigger for the opening of The Seven Seals of Revelations and the end of the world.

Well, my Guf is empty. I got nuthin'.

I've become the slightly creepy and ancient next door neighbor who keeps telling you the same stories over and over again. Between stories I tend to spontaneously yell "HEY YOU KIDS! GET AWAY FROM THERE! I'M CALLING THE POLICE!"

I'll come up with an idea for a post and then do a search on my blog and find out that I already posted about that.

Fuck me running!

What really sucks ass is that the previous post is generally a lot more clever and edgier than what I had planned to say this time around. I'm deteriorating.

Oh wait! I see where I left that post with a teaser about my appearance in "Adam at Six A.M."

Holy shit! I guess The Guf has at least one more soul in it.



Spyder said...

LOL! I know there is stuff in that shaved dome of yours. You just not finding the right trigger to tap into it.

Have you set up Google Reader yet?

The Steve that everyone likes said...

C'mon Xavier. I bet you can do it. I always look forward to what you come up with.

Stinkbait Boucher said...

Scared me. Thought maybe you were leading up to a resignation or something. Don't fuck with me like that.

True story: This past week we'd decided that maybe we were up to eating some meat (long story but basically Baby Jesus had come between us and meat).

I stopped at the grocer on the way home and, as I chose my ground beef, a voice deep in my head - the one that hangs out by the comic books - said:

"The 90/10 and above are too lean. Tasteless. Below 85/15 it's just too much fat and grease. So 85/15 is perfect."

So 85/15 it was.

The point is that I would read your shopping list and enjoy it.

Xavier Onassis said...

spyder - there ain't nuthin' up in there! KNOCK KNOCK! here that empty, hollow sound? it's the sound you get from a mostly ripe mellon but with a bad spot somewhere inside.

and yeah, i'm all up in google reader. the time i save by not reading unupdated blogs is spent dwelling on my own suckage and how much i suck.

the steve - nope. i still got nuthin'. but thank you for your ill placed confidence.

stink - sometimes you scare me a little. despite my overly verbose, rambling, "stream of conscienceness" presentations of every scrap of evidence i can muster, you don't seem to grasp just how much i suck.

i'll try harder.

i'm now officially turning the suckage knob up to 11.

look out!

Doc said...

unrelated to this post; a free easter egg for you!


traqvel said...

I think it's called cabin fever...

Spring will clear the cobwebs.