Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Blogger Improv

Lacking any real inspiration, I asked my twitterverse followers what I should blog about tonight.

No single suggested topic lept out as being worthy of an entire blogpost, so I'll just combine them all into a single post.

From princessofworld

"@xo64068 You could talk about me. I always enjoy that:"

Okay, I already made a liar of myself because of course she is worthy of an entire blogpost. Smart, funny, well read, sexy. Even poor, blind Homer could have spun epics about her. If you don't know who Homer is, maybe you should visit a fucking library you illiterate hack.


From banky
"@xo64068 the spanish inquisition was neither spanish nor an inquisition."

I don't know if that is a suggestion that I do a deep dive into the subject of the Spanish Inquisition, with weeks worth of scholarly, annotated research and footnotes and shit, or just one of banky's brain farts. It's hard to tell sometimes. So I'll just take the easy way out.

There ya go, banky.


From MarianLiberryan
"@xo64068 olympics? Beer? NASCAR?"

Christ! I don't think you could have picked 3 things I care less about (other than my ex wife). I LOATHE the Olympics! Sucks up every packet of high speed, high def TV time for weeks on end and there isn't a single fucking sport, competition or athelete that I care about. Not. One. What a waste of goddamn time. And don't even get me started on the fact that the Communist Chinese get a visit from the U.S. President and billions of dollars of revenue from American visitors and American television broadcast rights and I can't even get a fucking Cuban Cohiba!

I call Bullshit!

Beer? I haven't had a beer in years. Something about the combination of alcohol and carbonation that wreaks havoc with my lower digestive system. Or maybe it's the hops. Give me a glass of finely crafted, small batch bourbon over the greatest beer in the world.

I don't need to be putting anything in my mouth whose distinguishing properties include the word "head".

I'll leave that "sort of thing" to THIS guy.


You mean Redneck Hockey?

Rural dipshits driving fast in circles while drunk, mullet-wearing, tatooed, whiskey tango, fat people wearing unflattering clothing with numbers on their backs and overly-complicated eyeware scream and yell like ass-raped Ozark canoers who kinda dig it, even without the lube and a reach around?

Yeah, I got nuthin' on NASCAR. Fucking hillbillies!


From bullevard73

"@xo64068 You can blog about your new gay lifestyle"

You told me not to tell anybody about how much you love it when I go ass to mouth on you! Make up your mind! Don't make me lock you in the dog cage again, bitch!

"Bring out the Gimp!"


From Darrenrules

"@xo64068 You could blog about your experiences riding the bus."

I could. But I haven't ridden the bus once this month because it has been either too hot or too stormy. I'm only interested in reducing my carbon footprint, saving the planet, and saving money if I am not personally inconvenienced in any way. As long as I don't have to go out of my way, get all sweaty, or get rained on, I'm a regular Ed fucking Begley, Jr.!


I'm spent! Time to get shit ready for work and get to bed by 11.

G'night, my peeps.


Anonymous said...

Jesus, Banky is super hot. No wonder women throw their panties at him just walking down the street.

Xavier Onassis said...

anon - thanks for stopping by, banky!

Leigh Ann said...

I wonder if Banky's an actor as well as a politician. I'm thinking of getting him to play one of the Pendergast brothers in the TV pilot I'm writing. Maybe Tom. He's got a good look.

Spyder said...

I like the pick up pool idea. Will have to try that in Kanga's pick up.

Xavier Onassis said...

leigh ann - when you write a TV pilot about Lex Luthor, keep me in mind, mkay?

Satyavati devi dasi said...

Hey..I got a tarp and a truck... I'm goin swimmin this weekend!!

PS I still think you should write about the Inquisition.

Fiery said...

I love bourbon!
yum yum yum!
makes me go
num num num
and then I
hum hum hum
and act so
dum dum dum

time to put the bourbon back.